Always
by baka coconut
Summary: AU L/Light. He was just always there. In that little corner of the library, with his books, reading alone in his darkness. He was trying so hard to shrink out of existance, become unnoticable. Light couldn't help but notice.
1. The Corner

Another fic! This kinda came to me randomly, but I hope you enjoy!

**EDIT!!**

I realized after trying to get one of my friends to read this, that the first four chapters of this are HORRIFIC! SERIOUSLY! Did anyone actually read their DAILOGUE?! WHAT WAS I THINKING?! I was just getting back into the swing of writing when I started this, and my god, you can tell. So, I'm re-vamping at least the first four chapters, and I'll probably actually proofread my other chaps up to the current ones. This will be a job that might take a while, but I'll try to keep up with regular updates. Thankyou everyone who stuck with me through the original version, I hope you enjoy the edited version!

Disclaimer: Don't own, don't sue.

* * *

He was there.

Still fucking _there._

That kid in the corner of the library.

That creepy, unblinking kid that was always, _always, _in that crowded little corner of the school library.

Light tried to ignore it.

Like always.

Just like always, he tried to ignore him.

And just like always, he would fail.

No matter how much he tried to focus on his studies, or tried to distract himself with friends, his eyes would always drift to that ball of flesh in the corner. That particular corner was always dark. It was in a spot where the shelves blocked the windows, and the closest ceiling light had somehow permanently blown out.

The strange entity there always piled books around him on the floor, adding to the ambiance. Stacks and stacks of them, all on different subjects by different authors from different times and different places. As far as Light could tell, the titles were also in several languages. He determined that the boy must know at least twelve seperate languages. Their school only offered seven.

So today, like many other days, Light was working at his full capacity.

Ten percent went to his studies.

The other ninety was spent on forcing himself to not look over at that corner.

He wondered why the librarian never kicked him out. He always sat on the floor and made all those messy piles of books. Any other librarian would be outraged at the disruption in order.

Not to mention, his rather unnerving presence prevented anyone from wandering over there to get books from those dark shelves for themselves. Light had never ventured over there, and he'd never seen anyone else try either.

And damn him but he looked up.

In the distant shadows, he saw dark spikes float above a book being held by a total of four ghostly digits. He held every book in only two fingers from each hand.

Light knew.

He watched him enough.

What really attracted Light's attention though, were those eyes. They were usually stoic to an extreme degree, but Light could just manage to see beyond that. It was near impossible because of the distance between them, but Light could tell that they were….haunted.

Yes, even though the chance occurred rarely, only when the enigma had to switch books, whenever Light saw those black eyes, the only word that came to mind was haunted.

Light wanted to know _why._

_Why _did this boy sit there like that alone in the library?

_Why_ did he do nothing but read and eat sweets all day?

Light didn't want to judge, but he seemed, just a little… lonely.

It seemed like he hated being alone in his corner, so it was a mystery as to why he subjected himself to it. Most likely no one else thought this, but Light could see the uncomfortable tension in slump of his shoulders, the sad way he held his books.

At least he already knew why he _cared_ about this, so he had the comfort of not having to torture himself with that extra question.

He was _different_.

And not just because of the way he looked or acted.

There was something else, something special that set him apart.

He wasn't trying to be different either, no. He didn't act in that desperate teenage way where they flaunt their faults for sympathy and attention. No, this creature simply stewed in his dissimilarity, simply sitting with his books in his corner, whittling away at time. He didn't want to be noticed. He simply wanted to exist inside his novels.

Even so, Light stood up. He would get the answers to his questions. He would learn about him, pick him apart, learn everything about him to quell his curiosity, and then he could contentedly back away again. Well, back away, or earn a new friend.

Either way, it didn't really matter.

As long as he could use that other ninety percent of his brain again.

* * *

Ok! My first DN AU fic! No one writes about the two in high school, so I thought I'd go with a stereotype and write one! L's character is going to be really interesting, and I'm excited about it! Sorry this chapter didn't have much happen in it, but I just wanted to set the mood. So! Please read and review! Sorry for the short chapter!


	2. Rainbow Obsidian

Hello! Sorry again for the lag in updates. My school loves to just pile on work at the worst times. I have my English final paper due in April, so if I fall off the face of the earth for a while, blame it on that. Also, I had to ponder long and hard about this story so that it'll make sense, so that's another reason. Hopefully, all the hard thinking will pay off.

**EDIT!!**

Yep, this chapter too. This was THE WORST one, at that, so I'm very happy that I've gotten around to it.

Disclaimer: Don't own, don't sue.

* * *

So, Light was on his way to strike up a conversation.

A conversation with an exceptionally strange and antisocial person he's never spoken to before.

This wouldn't be awkward at _all._

Every step that brought him closer to his target was another step into the realm of uncertainty.

He had no idea how he should act around the other boy, or how he would react to Light suddenly showing up out of nowhere to talk to him. What should he even say? "Hi, my name's Light Yagami and I've been stalking you against my will"?

Somehow, he didn't think that would go over to well.

But he was Light Yagami, star student and socialite extraordinaire.

He could always figure out the best thing to say when the time came.

So he gave up and just figured he would go with whatever came to him. Essentially, when he finally arrived in the lair of his fellow student, he had absolutely no plan of action. The owner of said lair turned his dull, bored eyes up to greet Light's now halted form.

"Hello. May I help you?" His voice was deeper, more firm than Light had expected it to be. It had no intonation or inflection in it, like he was someone's run of the mill voicemail message. From that one short, almost curt greeting, it was easy to figure out that he wasn't used to being sociable.

Yet, despite the fact that he was analyzing the response given to him just now, Light was frozen.

He couldn't give a response just yet.

He was too absorbed in those eyes.

All he could see was black. Beautiful, pure, foreboding black. They looked like two perfectly rounded hunks of obsidian sitting in a bowl of milk. They shone gently in the dim light of the faraway table lamps.

"Hello. My name's Raito Yagami, and I couldn't help but notice you over here. May I ask what you're doing?" That's right, just be polite and everything will go smoothly. Surely his impeccable manners would cover up that little lag in response time.

He looked wild, untamed, exotic. A rare creature, in the class of library stalker, primarily feeding on books and Twizzlers. His baggy white shirt and jeans allow free movement for easy escapes from predators, while his shaggy head of hair acted as camouflage in his habitual darkness. His ivory skin was to appear sickly, yet attractive at the same time to make all breeds of creatures wary, yet intrigued.

"Is it distracting you?" He had managed to evade Light's question and turn it around. Somehow, he had known the truth behind his visit without even hearing more than a sentence from him.

It was a little unnerving.

Light shook his head.

"Really, I was curious." He gave a nonchalant shrug, trying to seem convincing. He had to concentrate on actually having a conversation, not on classifying the anomaly before him. However, if Light had to guess, it would be a quadruped, inhabit a cave and NO. He had to focus.

"I thought so. I have previously noticed that you have a peculiar interest in me." Four spindly fingers came together and two halves of a book met. The nested boy daintily placed it on top of a teetering tower of other hardbacks.

"You never answered my question." Those pools of night were slightly overthrown by white as they narrowed ever so slightly in irritation.

"I stay over here to read, obviously." He placed his magnolia fingers on his kneecaps. They were up by his chin, his thighs pressed against his stomach and chest. He was curled up, sharing part of his weight with the wall behind him while concentrating the bulk of in on his rear. At first, Light had thought of a crow to symbolize him, and he felt that description fit pretty well.

"Oh, well, I didn't catch your name."

"I did not give it to you." An awkward moment of silence passed with Light just standing there, resolutely resisting the urge to scratch his arm or shuffle around. He brought his eyes back from the shelf to meet the bored ones below him. Their owner sighed gently, as if giving in to something. "However, you may call me L."

"Just L?"

"Just L." Another strange moment passed. They seemed to have a lot of pauses in their conversation, but Light didn't mind. He'd wrestled his way through far more strange and uncomfortable situations than this, so he figured that somehow he'd make it out alright.

"So why are you here reading all the time?" He had to try his best to not give in to the impulse to clench his hands at the condescending look L was giving him. It was like he was wondering if Light had half a brain.

"I like to read. I would think that a straight A student such as yourself would have been able to gather that on his own." This time he couldn't help it. Here was some mysterious guy playing mind games with him. Him, Light Yagami. The same Light Yagami that outsmarted everyone at the school and had a simply stunning network of friends. He was running in circles of conversation because L had the innate ability to annoy the hell out of him.

"You know what my grades are like?" He had to try really hard to not turn that innocent question into a sneer. There was just something about L that really got to him. Whatever it was about him, it reached all the way inside of Light, ran past all of his self control and strategically placed walls and hit him straight in the face. It was strange to think that they've only been talking to each other for a few minutes.

"You also drew my curiosity, Yagami-kun. I found you in the school database, and I must say that I am quite impressed. Perfect grades in every course you take." A small smile crossed L's face. It made him look like a doll, all smiles and porcelain skin. He even had those too big eyes.

"You hacked into the school's computer?" L's grin simply widened as he plucked a rather hefty book from the center of another pile. Miraculously, the precarious pile only shuddered as it was shortened. L held the book up by two fingers, displaying it to Light.

"This book contains the basics for commonly used computer languages. Our school's computer system is based on java, which I happen to be fluent in. I have only begun studying Visual Basic however." As if to prove his point, he opened it to a bookmarked page and promptly began studying a page that dictated how to place semicolons in an IF AND statement. So, he only took actions when they served multiple purposes. Despite Light's irritation, he smiled. Efficiency was apparently one thing they had in common.

"Would you like to join me at my table to study?" L twitched in a rather strange way at the suggestion. It was like how a mosquito would twitch over someone's skin to move into a ideal position.

"No thank you, but if you would like, you may sit here. You can bring a cushion or a pillow from one of the couches if you want, the librarian will not mind." Light quirked an eyebrow. Their librarian was nice, but she would surely mind a student making off with one of her cushions.

Well, L seemed strange enough to have exceptions made for him, so he decided not to ask.

With that, his ginger head turned away to fetch a cushion. Monotone onyx followed the spot of red as it made it's way across the library. They began to contemplate all of the conceivable reasons for this splotch of color to invade his stagnant world. It was like stepping out of black and white Kansas into Technicolor Oz.

It was a little frightening, L had to admit. As the spark made to return to L's alcove of paradise, he worked his brain into coming up with an acceptable theory. Light couldn't simply be wanting to make another friend, he had far more normal and acceptable ones already. He didn't like to waste his time either, so he couldn't have come over on a simple whim. He continued to ponder as Light made a small nest next to his book fortress.

"So right now you're studying computers?" Polite conversation. Light had sensed earlier that L wasn't exactly the kind of person to just reveal his entire life story in a first encounter. He wasn't sure he wanted to know everything about him anyway.

"Computers, cooking, music, several languages, advanced version of our standard courses, criminology, psychology, and law." Light blinked. All of those subjects at once? Their school didn't even cover half of the list. He peered over the outer wall of L's stronghold. He saw four books open at his bare feet, along with an impressive bag of jelly beans. He blinked again. The occupant looked unfazed and bored about his long list of studies, like it was an average, every day load to take on. Nothing new.

"That's pretty amazing L, I have to say."

"Thank you, Yagami-kun. I know."

They apparently shared their arrogance too.

* * *

Ok then! I thought that'd be a comfy place to end. Sorry for Light's OOCness, but hey man, would you be in character if you had just met a crazy reclusive genius? He'll be better later, promise. Also, I have a storyline in mind for once, and hopefully it's not boring. This chapter was kinda dull though…sorry for that! Review and tell me what you thought!


	3. Insomnia and Dark Hallways

Ok then! Chapter three! Thank you to every one who reviewed, you guys keep me going!

**EDIT!!**

I'm fixing this chapter too, but this one's not so bad, so I'll probably only make minor improvements. Hope you like it!

Disclaimer: Don't own, don't sue.

* * *

Light couldn't sleep.

He'd bee trying for _four hours_ now.

Four hours of doing nothing but wondering.

Wondering about L and his empty eyes.

Light rolled over in his plush bed, felt the soft fabric of his comforter slide across his bare arms. Light never saw L in the dormitories. Not a single sign of the grayscale anomaly. Not even an empty bed.

He rolled over again.

Those shocking eyes.

He had quickly become entranced with them.

There was more to them than they showed.

They were intelligent, cunning, analytical, caring, curious.

Haunted.

He shifted again. He still couldn't get comfortable. He swung his feet over the edge of his comforter. If he couldn't sleep, a walk around their school would at least eat up time faster than lying here did. He slipped his feet into a pair of his nearby sneakers, rising, stretching on the way to the door.

He slipped past dark red curtains that expertly hid their sleeping owners like a mother hen would her chicks. His shadow loomed across the cream walls, disfiguring his shape with the intricacies of the wood work.

His feet felt slowed as they transferred from the hard wood floors of the dorm to the carpeted ones of the staircase. They had something of a common room, but it was really more of a circular, carpeted alcove that hung off of the main hallway like a tumor. The hallway curved outwards, away from it's other side, and continued in a half circle to lead into the bottom arch of the area.

He descended the stairs with all the air of someone who's had a whole eight hours of sleep. In actuality, he'd been awake for roughly eighteen hours, but he was a great actor.

He swept through the room, ignoring the tasteful touches and pristine white fabric beneath his feet. The place had a few eloquent chairs, colored the most beautiful shade of wine, a large fireplace that sat perfectly snug into the room's curved walls, and a large cherry wood table was set off to one of the sides. It was a strangely well put together room without a door.

His sneakers progressed from making the soft rustling sound of carpet against sole to discreet footsteps on linoleum. He walked down the hallways, empty and inert. Everything was dark, covered in night, except for what the dim glow coming from the display cases touched. The light proudly boasted trophies from chess matches, lacrosse, soccer, mathematics, and a plethora of other meaningless activities.

He continued on, wondering again where L could be at this moment. He found himself headed for the most obvious place. He peered into the library, but saw no illumination. If L were here reading, there would have to at least be a reading light on.

Light decided to investigate anyway.

He stepped into the dust-bunny sanctuary, casting a glance around, making sure his target wasn't hidden away anywhere unusual. The library was unfamiliar and intimidating in the darkness, but he ignored the hairs prickling on the back of his neck for the sake of his investigation.

He eventually reached L's section of the library.

He couldn't help but be a little nervous.

Wouldn't it be weird for some kid you just met this afternoon to randomly show up in the middle of the night? He figured he could make up plenty of excuses if the occasion arose.

It didn't though.

L wasn't there.

Light blinked.

He had been so sure that the little ghoul would be in his usual spot. However, this was a golden opportunity. He shuffled through the piles of books, stepping into L's den. He looked around at the many open manuals, novels, and other such tomes of wisdom. He spied an empty bag of jelly beans.

There was a slim laptop leaning against one of numerous piles of literature. He tried to make out what L might have been reading before, but he couldn't see a damn thing in the non-existent lighting. He sighed and quickly made his way out of the library, deciding that his search would be futile now that he had no idea where L could be.

...

And since when was this a search for L?

This was just to take up time. L would be entertaining enough though to distract him until he could get some sleep. He was smart and had plenty of quirks to observe_._ It made him interesting.

A riddle to be solved.

Light figured that now that he had no leads in his case, he'd grab some fresh air.

Tennis was exhausting enough.

He made the trek over to the locker rooms in the distant gym. He didn't really care if the noise the game would cause woke anyone up. He had it well enough with the teachers for them to let him off for being up after curfew. He grabbed three lime green balls and his racket before closing his locker with a soft click.

He sighed, and looked at his feet. If he hadn't started talking to L today, he would have been peacefully asleep in his bed. He would have been dreaming of a perfect world, with the perfect people, in perfect peace.

He didn't like reality.

He didn't like the blood, the violence, the sex or the drugs.

He liked the scent of fields, the feel of soft waves at his feet, the warmth of the spring sun.

Reality smothered all of this with polluted morals and noisy children.

He exited the school, but stopped for a moment on his way to the courts. He heard that familiar "POCK" noise drifting through the still autumn air. The sound was cruel and intense, like someone was trying to rip their own arm off with the force of the swing. His curiosity was piqued. Who, other than him, could possibly be out here at this hour? He froze as his question was answered when he turned the corner.

A dark silhouette.

Agile, animal, precise.

It was viciously attacking the chain-link fence of the tennis court.

The strange apparition was playing tennis at three in the morning.

A strange, slumping, spiky-haired, feral, tennis playing demon.

Light's eyes widened in realization.

"L?" The creature stopped in its tracks, mid-swing, letting the ball bounce to a halt, forgotten. It turned stiffly.

"Raito-kun?" Light stepped forwards, towards the ring of orange light that was cradled by the tennis court.

"L, what are you doing out here?" The boy's dark features were more visible now, and they all screamed one thing.

_Horror._

"I am playing tennis, Raito-kun. That, again, should be fairly obvious to you." Light was too stunned at this development to be annoyed.

"You…like tennis?" L simply nodded. It was all too clear that Light had interrupted something personal. Something secret.

"Why are you still awake, Raito-kun?"

"I couldn't sleep, and I thought this would help."

It was only half a lie. He couldn't sleep, and he did want to tire himself out, but he got out of bed to see L, whether he would admit to it or not.

L looked at his feet for a moment, considering something. He was turned away from Light, allowing only half of his face to be visible, casting shadows into the deep depressions under his eyes, making every line in his form heavier. His pupils drifted towards the edge of his sockets, peering out of it's corner.

"Would Raito-kun… like to join me?"

The statement was not meek in itself, but the way that L looked at him said that he was being shy. Only his eyes managed to subtly project that. Was his control over his outer self a defense? What would he be defending himself from?

L was hiding behind Apathy and her partner, Obscurity.

"…Sure."

* * *

So, this was a little boring. Sorry! I always have to write a setup chapter. The next one will be more interesting, I promise. It'll most likely be longer too. They'll actually talk! Character development will start, and I'm excited about it. Thank you for reading, and I'll love you if you drop off a review!

See you soon!


	4. Reject Reality

SO! Uhm, I don't know anything about tennis! Just to let everyone know that! I was thinking of just going onto wikipedia and looking the rules up, and I did, but it was confusing, and I don't feel like making a huge idiot out of myself XD So, there's going to be a tennis match, but not really. More of "Let's knock the ball around". Also, sorry for the lag in updating, lots of stuff is coming up really fast, so it's hard to get around to it. Not to mention I'm lazy! Anyway, onwards!

Disclaimer: Don't own don't sue. Do I really need to do this every chapter?

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Light was flabbergasted.

Seriously.

The moment he got into his stance to begin, a green flurry rushed past his ear to make a loud "CLANG!" noise against the gate behind him.

If L's serve had hit him in the face, it probably would have broken his nose.

"Um… That was crazy. Should that even count?" Brown eyes turned, opened all the way, towards the little felt covered ball behind him. He was surprised it hadn't split in two.

"Actually, Riato-kun, I typically prefer to not count anything. Since I play by myself, there is no competition to be had, and therefore I would like our game to be the same. Just a way to get some sleep." The black haired tennis monster watched a bit impatiently as Light went to retrieve their ball. The rusty headed teenager had yet again intruded into his world. His peace had once again been ruined because of this random kid who won't leave him alone.

Well, he didn't want Light to leave him alone exactly, he was curious about him.

He just has bad timing.

The serve came, and went. L returned it with enough force to make Light flat out dodge it instead of try to return it.

"Raito-kun, I thought you were going to be my partner, not help me with target practice." The scowl he got made him smile. As he thought, Light had a superiority complex.

Well, L did too.

He was secretly keeping score.

As he was sure Light was.

"Well, if you would stop trying to rip a hole through the fence, then maybe I could actually play without fearing for my life." As another serve came, L's smile broadened. This one had a good deal more force behind it. He was getting on Light's nerves, but the boy still remained out here with him. Usually, he would either excuse himself or throw an insult to get out of the presence of his annoyance. So far, neither had really occurred. It was peculiar. He returned the serve, this time with some sort of civility behind his swing. Light easily bounced it back over the net this time.

Perhaps they simply had some sort of innate chemistry?

"So, why couldn't you sleep?" POCK.

"I'm not sure. I have a lot on my mind." POCK.

"Like what?" POCK.

Clank.

Light had missed again.

He looked a bit distracted.

"Well, my studies are taking up a lot of my time, so I go over a lot of it in my head without meaning to. My brain just won't turn off!" He went to retrieve the ball yet again. L was a little frustrated. He was sure that Light would have been a better match than this. He should have at least gotten one ball past him by now. Perhaps it was the fatigue?

"It has nothing to do with our meeting today?"

Light paused for a moment before going through with his next serve. It was like L's first one, severe and brutal.

CLANG.

L stared. So, this dough eyed boy did have it in him.

"No. Us meeting was just another event in another boring day. It only made it slightly more interesting." L smiled again, letting the line of his lips crack his china doll face. Light was purposely trying to make L feel unimportant. That by default said that he was.

"Of course, Light-kun." This time, when L served, instead of going over head and straight forwards like his first serve, he did an odd underhanded serve, sending it high. Light jumped for it, missing it by at least a foot.

"That wasn't fair." He was already turning to get it from the corner it rolled into.

"This isn't really a game, so it doesn't really matter." The serve came.

"If you don't really play games, then why do you play at all?" L missed by about three feet. He had a lag in reaction time from Light's question. L wasn't too fond of explaining his inner workings to anyone. Especially not to someone he just met today.

"It's a way for me to turn my studies into practice. The same way a doctor first studies, and then goes into surgery." Another serve from L, this time faster, more like his original style.

"Well, why don't you practice with others, instead of by yourself?" L slammed into the return shot, pushing his muscles into the move, feeling the burn from straining them. Light was getting too close too fast.

"I simply prefer it this way, Raito-kun. It's more efficient." Another "POCK" from Light's side, and a louder one from L's.

"How is practicing against yourself more efficient?" At Light's return swing, L ran forwards. Taking the offensive would be a good way to end this conversation before it went spiraling out of control. The next "POCK" and the resounding clang of the fence announced the end of their game.

"It lets me study the aerodynamics of the ball and which way is the best way to hit it." Light glared at him, now only two feet away, standing resolutely in front of his competition, refusing to drop this.

"That doesn't explain much. How would that really effect your game if you don't see the ways your moves can be countered?" That auburn head had a suspicious brain in it. It knew that L was tip toeing around something, and his insatiable curiosity would not let it slide.

"It just does." L began walking away. Light was furious.

"Why are you always alone?!"

The pale skeleton of a boy paused in it's frumpy advancement towards the school. He stood there silently for a moment, seeming to be in a strange mix of contemplation and annoyance. Light's outburst had pretty much come out of nowhere, and was a surprise to both of them. They both knew that Light was straight forwards, but not by this much. It was a decidedly out of character move for him.

"I…" L turned his head towards his new half friend. If Light could be out of character for a moment, then he could be too.

"The world is tainted and dirty. I'm tired of it."

With that, L walked inside, leaving Light to stand in the stillness of the night.

He stayed there until golden light glared into his eyes.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Whoo! I was wondering if maybe I had too much L development in this chapter, but I like it. Hope the tennis wasn't horribly boring! By the way, I read the Death Note novel, and I have to say it was FRIGGIN AMAZING! I'm hoping to somehow either work B into this story, or write another one with him in it. He's neat. Like an insane L. Well, L's insane anyway, but not like, REALLY insane. But anyway, please review! Thankyou for reading!


	5. Cracks in the Dream

I'm actually updating without waiting for like a month! O-M-G! XD Sorry, had to make fun of myself for a sec there. I just had the urge to write, and so far this is my favorite DN fanfic I've written. I keep writing myself into holes with my other ones -.- DN fics are hard to write without leaving gaping plot holes. That's why AU's are so easy! Whoo!

AN ANNOUNCEMENT: I've discovered that the third DN live action movie "L: Change the WorLd" is also a novel! It's titled "L: Change the WorLd, written by M". M is apparently not Mello, by the way. I don't know much about it, sadly. I don't read Japanese. If anyone has anymore info on it, please share! Also, I'm glad to see so much enthusiasm for B. I'm probably going to work him into this fic. Hooray! (I liked him a lot too)

Disclaimer: After that long author's note, let me say I don't own anything I've thus far talked about, or anything related to Death Note. Only volume 13! Yeah! Finally! Oh, and the novel. Hee!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Light decided to stay in bed that day.

His professors wouldn't mind, he never really did pay much attention in class. He already knew all the rudimentary material being taught. The only reason he went was to keep from getting bitched at for cutting.

Today, he decided to not care.

It was, according to the sun shining through the far window, roughly noon. He sighed. Less than six hours of sleep. He rolled over, contemplating the reason he was working on less than the healthy eight hours of rejuvenating sleep.

L.

All of the previous night had been spent, in one way or the other, on L. First with him occupying his mind with rhetorical questions, then with a frankly scary game of tennis, and most importantly, with his parting statement.

Light opened his eyes.

"What made you think that way, L?" His brows knit together. It was somehow painful to think of the two-toned boy being so far off. He was standing only feet from the shadowy mess when he spoke, but at that moment he felt like the boy had been farther away from him than ever before. Even before they had spoken to one another, there was never that kind of distance.

L was lonely.

And he was forcing himself to be lonely.

L hated the world.

Light closed his eyes once more, squeezing them tight. His body scrunched up a bit as his fingers curled into the sheets.

"_Why?"_ It was a quiet question. An agonized question. Every ounce of him felt the frustration at the situation, but every fiber felt the ache of empathy he had for this boy. Something must have happened to L to cause this. Something made him want to run away into fairy tales.

The questions that prompted him to start talking to L in the first place were still unanswered.

It all boiled down to why.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

And L had no intention of answering that simple question.

As he sat in his cozy sanctuary, he came to two realizations. One was that Visual Basic 6.0 was far better than both Java or C plus plus. The other was that he had made a mistake. By allowing himself to be out of character for a moment, he had opened the door Light had wedged his foot into just a bit wider. L narrowed his eyes. He thought about last night.

What would make him do that?

The boy had interested him before, but mostly because he was the only one he had observed who wasn't desperately trying to fit in. Because of this, he had felt a sensation of camaraderie towards the boy. He acted natural, only pretending when he needed to be polite. To people he didn't care about though, he was as rude as he wanted to be. L liked that. He liked the honesty in Light's actions. L was honest in his actions too, but he was a bit extreme in embracing his own oddities. He didn't mind though. He could care less what the world thought of him.

What he told Light was what he truly felt.

It just wasn't everything.

Back to the point though, L had no reason to tell him that in the first place.

So, he felt he had common ground with Light. That normally wouldn't be enough to spur L into shedding his ambiguity for even a second. Maybe it was just the circumstance. He was frustrated with Light, not only for playing badly, but also for prying so determinedly. Maybe that wasn't it either though.

Maybe it was just him.

The way Light had simply stumbled into his world, much like earlier that day. The way his eyes were holding nothing back. He was all curiosity and affability. His body moved with lazy, yet well practiced grace. It was like autumn leaves falling into a pond. The orange light cast shadows all over him, making him dramatic and sinewy.

His hair was the shade of dirty roses.

Everything about him was intense and passionate. His words, his look, his feelings.

Maybe that was just all there was to it.

Maybe it wasn't the frustration, or the feeling of companionship, or the way he looked.

Maybe it was just that simple passion.

Maybe it infected him, a deadly virus spreading through his system so that he'd unveil himself.

L further narrowed his eyes. Light had given him passion. Light, a person that was not written into his perfect world, had given him an emotion he had not felt in real time ever before. The only time that tingling feeling ever crept into his fingertips were when they were holding a book or brushing against lettered keys. Even when he let his world cross through dimensions through music or painting, he never got that feeling until after he was done.

His whole body tingled last night.

That feeling made him want to be theatrical. It made him want to be a mystery.

_It made him want Light to pry._

_That's_ why he said that.

He wanted Light to know.

L sighed, closing the two books that laid out in front of him. He still didn't know why Light effected him in such a way, nor did he know why he was feeling the way he was now. There was no reason for him to want the other boy to be more involved in his life. It was all rather confusing, and it was all a mistake.

He _missed_ Light.

It was stupid.

He stood up, his back changing the angle of his hunch ever so slightly. With knees bent, eyes down, and his hands in his pockets, he stepped over his mountain of books. The only way he was going to be able to analyze himself more efficiently was to expose himself to the problem more. He had to be more observant, more calculating. He had to find out why this pretty much normal kid was having such a profund effect on him.

He'd been far too sappy a minute ago.

He exited the library, feeling his lungs fill with clear air. The atmosphere in there was always dusty.

His feet echoed in the empty halls. Classes were well into their sessions. He stared at the blank walls as he made his way towards the dormitories. He watched as the white collected into little poufs, shrinking together to leave room for azure to burst into the scene. His blue sky. Joyous green crept into the bottom, whispering sweetly to the happy clouds. His forever fields. Emerald shaded the right side of his peripheral vision.

His small smile disapeared when he looked to his favorite spot.

Light was standing underneath his oak tree.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Just to clarify, that last part was L imagining the dull, stagnant school as scenery in his perfect world. Obviously, he's bothered that Light had weaseled his was into it. He's not actually there though, L's just imagining it.

Anyway, thank you for reading, this chapter was rather poetic, yes? By the way, Visual Basic 6.0, C plus plus doesn't display plus symbols, those jerks), and Java are all computer languages. I'm a big geek, so I studied them. Hurr, I'm a dork! Three years of high school man. Anyway, lots of inner monologue from L in this chapter, I hope you all liked it. Was it way out of character, because I'm afraid it might have been. I think I let the artsyness get in the way of L's trademark analytical thought progression. Oops! Let me know how I did!

Also, who's up for L being artsy?! I know I am! Let me know what you think!

Reviews are much appreciated!

By the way, I started this at like 1 am, and at the end of editing, I almost had a heart attack when I realized it was like 4. XD


	6. Rainbows and Lollipops

AH! This was so well received! I love everyone who reviewed. Really. Which is why, on a school night (Damn you Sundays…) I'm on my computer at 1:30 am, and will most likely be done this by 3. I wake up at 7. XD It's going to be a long day tomorrow.

By the way, I just finished watching the Brit Music awards, so everything in my head right now is in a British accent. Hee, can anyone else imagine L and Light speaking with an accent? I find it kinda hilarious for Light. Try it while reading XD

Disclaimer: Don't own, Don't sue

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Light sighed yet again.

It's been a half hour, and he was still rolling around in his bed.

He was still thinking of L.

He had apparently made the boy his new obsession over the course of two conversations. He was just so damn interesting, and fucking annoying and just…..FUCK. He wouldn't get out of his _head!_ Those huge eyes wouldn't vacate the premises. He just kept replaying last night. Well, this morning.

The way L reacted to his intrusion, the way his voice was to tender as he asked if he could join Light, his beastly way of playing tennis.

He moved like ice spidering across glass.

"L, why won't you leave me alone?"

"I'm sorry Raito-kun, I was not aware that my company was bothering you."

_Oh shit._

Light flipped over in his bed faster than a hamburger was flipped in McDonalds during the lunch rush.

"Hey! W-what's up L?" Wide eyes met wide eyes. No matter how surprised the red head was though, it would probably be forever impossible to match the height of L's eyes.

"Well, Raito-kun, since I predicted that you skipped class today because of your lack of sleep last night, I came to visit you on your day off. However, my presence apparently irritates you." He turned to leave, but tanned digits wrapped around an all too pale wrist.

"No, no, it's ok L. You're not bothering me. I was just talking in my sleep." A smile stretched across the mask of porcelain that was L's face.

"Your respiration was twelve percent faster than the normal sleeping rate. You were obviously conscious, at least most of the way. You also reacted to my statement too quickly for you to have been awakened by it." Light quietly fumed. L was _really _too smart. It made lying to him much more difficult than it needed to be.

"Well, I was mostly asleep. Anyway, so you wanted to see me?" A nod of ebony locks.

"I thought that since we have somehow developed a breed of friendship, that we could perhaps do something together." A blink of teddy bear eyes. L…_wanted_ to see him? He wanted Light Yagami to be involved with him?

Light beamed.

"Sure, is there anything you have in mind?" Bottomless eyes turned to the ceiling in a gaze that should only be available to children under five. A smooth, delicate finger came to press at the corner of the sweet downward curve of his lips.

"Well, I was thinking that we could perhaps paint something together."

Once again, Light blinked.

"You like to paint?"

"Well, I will be finger painting, but you may feel free to make a masterpiece. Once you are dressed, I will meet you in the art room."

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Light, now dressed in black corduroy pants and a forest green button down that was casually untucked, stepped into the crisp air of the art room. Well, perhaps crisp was not the proper word. The huge windows were always open for scenery paintings, but the fresh fragrance of the lilies just beyond the windowsill was always made heavy by the scent of paint and clay.

Light didn't notice this though.

He was too distracted by the…._ absurd_ sight before him.

L was painting on a canvas with his fingers, tongue diplomatically curved upwards to meet the side of his upper lip in concentration. He was in a white smock that was only staying on him because of the string that was slipped over his head. He had the stereotypical thumb palette, which ironically enough, he rubbed his thumb on to gather more paint, but this wasn't the worst of it.

He had a beret laying lopsidedly across his spiky head.

He was the perfect picture of a French six year old.

And Light stared for a good long time before actually entering the room properly.

"That's um…. An interesting outfit to paint in L." Orbs of darkness swiveled his way as a huge streak of blue came to life on the mostly blank canvas.

"I thought it was cute, and it also put me in the mood to be creative." Light snorted. L had just said he was trying to be cute! _Cute! _He said it!

"Well L, it somehow works for you." Light seated himself next to his ridiculous partner in front of a canvas that was already set up.

"You know, canvas is expensive. Should we really just be using it?"

"There is nothing to worry about Raito-kun. This school is well off, and can therefore afford such luxuries. It is a private school, after all." He just shrugged his shoulders. If he got in trouble, he could totally blame this on L.

So, they painted. Light simply did a watercolor painting of the usual scene waiting outside the room, while L finger-painted rainbows and lollipops.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Light was laying awake again.

_Damnit._

He was missing L.

The day they had spent together had been great. L had munched on shish-kabobbed donuts, since he couldn't actually touch the doughnuts themselves. He just sat there, huddled together like usual, on his stool painting with his fingers and eating. They didn't speak much, only exchanging words of praise or criticism, and once they were done they politely parted, L saying he had studying to do, Light saying he had make-up work to get done.

Such a simple day, and it was perfect.

Light still couldn't sleep though.

He wanted more.

More of L.

He was still missing that crazy weirdo. He had spent most of his shortened day with him, but Light was far from satisfied. He really could be greedy. It was just that it was so easy to be around L, so comfortable. He didn't get frustrated with him like he did with everyone else. He had found someone who was his equal.

It was…. Refreshing.

Light knew where this train of thought was going. It was rushing towards another sleepless night. Light decided to give up early and got out of bed. Well, if he couldn't get L out of his head, he would at least go and reminisce in the place where they had enjoyed that afternoon.

He only saw blank white walls as he walked.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

That last line was meant to indicate that Light lives in the real world, even though he's very introverted. My closing lines tend to be very ambiguous with this story!

THANKYOU SHADOW-L-CHAN FOR THE FINGER PAINTING IDEA!

That was great, and I have great things in store for the next chapter, which I'll probably write now.

The time: 2:34 am. School's looking great right now DX but alas, I really want to write the next part, because that's what this whole chapter was building up to, but I felt like this was a good place to end this one.

Please leave a review! Thankyou for reading!


	7. A Change of View

Alright! Crazy stuff is going to go down! Whoot! This chapter's rather short, but dramatic! Ooh!

Disclaimer: Don't own, don't sue

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Light's second entrance into the art room was vastly different from his first. It was dark, and the fragrance of outside was not even remotely detectable. It only smelled of paint. There was no light other than the crescent moon shining through the window. It illuminated the monster inside.

L was bent over in the middle of the room.

He had a paintbrush in his hand, and it looked like he was trying to slice the canvas to shreds with it.

He had a horrific stance that made Light think of a black widow. He had each leg on either side of the peice at different points along the length of it, his left hand resting above the left corner, fingers pointed inwards. His body was held close to the ground, close to the horizontal canvas. His feet were in puddles of crimson.

Light stepped closer.

The colorful pinks and baby blues of earlier were now replaced with ominous black, vicious violets, and murderous reds. They were splattered across the now buried white surface of the canvas, blocking out any sign of it's previous innocence. The painting from before still stood on it's stand in it's bubbly purity. Light moved behind the brutally working L so he could try to make sense out of the mess.

It was the landscape.

The picture of the scenery outside.

It was drawn with splattered paint and charcoal.

There were red-eyed crows nesting in a bare ebony tree. The sky was deep violet, slashed to bits by the black stratus clouds that heavily loomed in it. The ground matched the clouds in hue. It had huge red cracks scattered about it. There were splotches of what looked like imitation blood decorating everything below the skyline.

The tulips were now headless roses, the petals nowhere to be seen.

L was still darkening the sky.

"L… what-" He whipped around, paintbrush flailing outwards with the motion. Light felt a fleck of black hit his cheek.

L was covered in red.

Traces of the other colors had their place on him, but the red was _everywhere._ His hands were _caked_ in it.

L had become the canvas for his own chaos.

"Raito-kun, I wish you would not sneak up on me." He didn't move from his stilled position of attack.

"I….I didn't mean to." Light took a step back. L had a fiery gleam in his eyes. A gleam that, unlike last night, was filled with rage and bewilderment. It was _intense._

"…..It's fine Raito-kun. I simply wished that you would not see me in this state." He turned back to his work and simply looked down at it. Even his back and jeans had red on it.

He dropped the paintbrush to the floor, splashing the wood with man-made shadows.

"L, is there something wrong?" Light was horrified at the shudder that passed through the lithe boy in front of him. There was a long moment of silence, and when L finally drew in a breath with which to speak with, the sound almost echoed.

"Things…. Are not always perfect in paradise." He moved to leave.

"Wait." Surprisingly, the command worked. The retreating form stilled. Well, almost. There was a small tremble that could be seen repeatedly passing over the shadowed enigma.

"What caused this?" A turn of the head, the sliding of one visible pupil. It locked onto him.

"You."

Light was taken aback. How could something this…_horrible_… be his fault? Had he hurt him somehow?

"You were standing under my oak tree."

His back straightened for the first time in the history of Light watching him. He turned his attention back to the door.

_"The oak tree died."_

With that, he strode out of the room, shoulders back, knees at the proper angle, hands in his pockets.

His head was down though.

That again, was a first.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

WhhhhooooooooooooOOOOOOooooooooooooooo! I'm actually not going to elaborate on this, I'm just going to let you guys philosophize about it! It'll probably be explained in the near future anyway though, so don't go too crazy.

That was again, perhaps out of character? Let me know! I really, really like this chapter though! I'm loving this L so much! I'll eventually make Light more important, btw! XD I know I haven't had much character development on his end, and I'm sorry about that… But I've got such good things going for L in my head right now! With L's development though, Light's will probably come around too. I still plan on having more artsy time with the boys by the way, most likely music will be up next! Hooray! I'll get to talk in fancy chancy music terms since I'll actually know what I'm talking about! YEAH!

Please drop me a review! Thanks for reading!

P.S., the current time is now 3:45am. ... I'm going to die. XD


	8. Habitat

Hello! Sorry for the lack of updates, but my English paper is making me crazy. I had to write 15 note cards in two days, and for anyone who's ever done any of these things in MLA format for a bastard paper like this, then you all probably feel my pain. Gah. Anyway, I was writing this in English, ironically, because I was inspired to experiment. I'm actually going to describe the scenery! I always found this to be boring, and that character descriptions and developments are what I actually want to read about, but the setting is rather vague. So far I've been basing the dorm system off of a weird mix of Harry Potter and Final Fantasy 8 because I have no idea how real dorms work. XD Anyway, I've rambled enough now.

Disclaimer : Don't own don't sue.

Note: since the update, dashes aren't displayed anymore, so sorry that the borders of all my previous chapters are gone now, but I'm too lazy to fix it XD

lllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll

It's been two weeks now.

Two weeks since he last saw L.

Light had cleaned up after his exit. Red footprints trailed down the hallways until they finally faded. The paint had either run out or dried up. It was no easy task, but there should be nothing left of last night. No one should know that side of that brooding figure unless he gave his expressed permission. That horrid, twisted side of him that took up residence behind dark spikes and black eyes.

Permission Light didn't have.

He had intruded on something, and Light was sure it wasn't the first time.

The tennis match had been the same.

Where _was_ he?

In both literal and figurative terms, where was L? What cozy corner was he hiding in? What dark pit of slime was his mind in? _Was _that where his mind goes at all? Does it go to that land of cotton candy clouds and molasses rivers, or that place in the painting? That place of blood filled gorges and carbon trees…

Light took that painting.

He took the one with the lollipops too.

He took them to protect them, to hide them from any harm or ridicule or undeserved cynicism that could ever befall it. Whichever world L stayed in, Light wanted to protect it. Even if it's the one with skies of bleeding plums, Light wanted to defend L's paradise. Even if the place is nothing but agony for it's occupant.

Light had no idea why. He was never really connected to anyone before, had never felt that anyone really deserved his attention. His friends were filler episodes in the series of his life.

But L was different.

He'd thought about it before, pondered about what could possibly be unique about L other than the obvious.

It was because L was tragic.

Conflicted, filled with turmoil, and burning in his losses.

Just like Light.

Maybe he wanted to protect the paintings because he wanted to feel special, like he was _capable_ of protecting something. He wanted to get that expressed permission, to be allowed into all of the nooks and crannies of that cobweb-filled mind.

Maybe he just wanted to protect _L_.

Circles of thought swirled in the amber abyss of Light's mind. Two conclusions about his relationship with L managed to surface despite the heavy cloud of nonsensical yammering stemming from his other thoughts.

They had gotten abnormally close over the course of two very short days and nights.

This wasn't really a staggering revelation, but what was, was that this was a _genuine_ relationship.

The last real friend he had was when he was still a small child, but that chapter of his life had come to an abrupt end.

More circles of thought, all radiating from one source. L had been the pebble in his mind that was dropped into his metaphorical lake of thought. Ripples and vibrations moved around and reached the shore, where they intimately curled around the sand and river stones to gently fade away. They were gone before they could even be properly noticed and analyzed.

Light stepped into the library.

The dusty chandelier hung from it's root in the ceiling like some sort of strange sponge, sessile and left to the whim of the current. In the same dry wall lay much more modern recessed lights. Light had the feeling that whoever modernized this place simply did not have the heart to remove the ancient contraption of brass from the center of the room. The lights followed the lines of the library, dipping into each corner to illuminate it's off-white color. This happened often, seeing as how the room was in the shape of some unnamable geometric shape, all angles and corners.

Brown eyes followed this fringe of lights, observing the soft glow that always came from each to fall upon the many shelves and volumes. All of them were lit.

All but his.

Only that single one in the far left corner was ever out. That particular aisle that was hidden away from the ambient warmth from the ceiling and the direct glow of the window in the back of the place that showed the pond in the courtyard. That in it's self was impressive, since that window was actually the entire back wall. L must have chosen his spot with great care.

More steps inside.

This place was perfect for L. It had character and experience. It was peaceful and gentle. It wasn't that bleached white of the hallways, the intimidating dark yellow of the classrooms, or the ugly forest green of the restrooms.

It lacked that crowded air of the art room too.

Closer and closer to that place went Light.

He hadn't been here since his first encounter with his almost undead friend. He had tried to wait for L to come to him, he really did. He didn't want to rob himself of the chance to let their relationship flourish and he didn't want to damage L's apparently fragile psyche any more than he might have already.

Well, Light was impatient by nature.

He peeked his head around the corner of the fine dark wood of one of L's bookshelves. He was prepared to be ignored, to ignore last night, to deal with anger, sadness, neediness, loneliness, awkward conversations, or even simply reboot yesterday.

He wasn't prepared for L to not be there.

Everything else was present. The mounds of books and the silver laptop.

_He_ just wasn't there.

Light was absolutely positive that this would be the spot L would default to after such an event. He was evidently wrong. That in was stunning by its self. He hadn't even considered this scenario. Now where would he look? Not a single clue or lead was around to help him. So Light did what his pride told him to do.

He went back to class.

If L wanted Light to go searching for him, well then he'd be disappointed.

Light would not play hide and seek with him for the sake of dramatics.

That's what he told himself for the rest of the week.

Everyday as he left the library in disappointment only to repeat this routine, he told himself this.

llllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll

Ah, well, not much happened, now did it? Sorry about that, but as I said this was an experiment to see if I could actually work in descriptions of the surroundings. Next chapter will actually have L in it. XD Did anyone pick up on the hints of character development on the was for Light? Hope you did, since he's kind of needing that bad right about now. I would go on to write the next chapter, because I want to, but I have a head cold, it's 2:03 am, Easter's tomorrow so I can't sleep in, and I took Nyquil so I'm like a typing zombie right now. It works pretty well apparently though, because I like this chapter! It was crap when I first wrote it, but I kind of fleshed it out with sleepy tangents of ramblings for Light.

Anyway, thank you for reading, please drop me a new shiny review!


	9. Colors

Hello once again! Oo, I have a late start tonight at 4:07 am. Usually I start around one, but I got distracted by other lovely fics! Also, I've been a little stuck on how to make things still interesting. I'm afraid that things might be getting a bit monotonous…. It bothers me a great deal. I really hope I don't kill this story somehow by making it horribly boring or just screwing it up. Gah. Well, I guess I'll get on with it, I hope this turns out ok, I haven't thought it through very much. Well, here goes!

Disclaimer: Don't own, don't sue.

lllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll

It was lunchtime, and Light wasn't hungry.

He hadn't been to lunch in three weeks now.

Two weeks were spent on anxiety and impatience.

Week three saw only daily disappointment and frustration.

So Light wandered the halls today. He drifted down the rivers of white linoleum, feeling more like he was in a hospital than an overly sterile school. The bright incandescent lights in the ceiling were not nearly as gentle as the recessed ones in the library. These were harsh and forceful, chasing out any shadows that were innocently trying to hide underneath of a passerby's chin or feet. Even the shelter of the dirty blue lockers were invaded through their vents. The lockers themselves weren't dirty, just the color. The color of the Atlantic ocean. If Light had ever been to the east coast of the US, he'd know that color. That Jersey color.

L knew that color.

Of course he did.

He knew all the colors and all the textures.

Even though he too had never seen the sickly green-blue dirt-water in person, he's observed every coast there was in his studies. He enjoyed the ocean, and wanted to know all of it's manifestations. He would go there in his dreams. Specifically, he would go to that Jersey shore. The lockers always made him think of that specific place.

He would feel the soft breeze, hear the waves and the soft calls of gulls, and know the granulated feeling of sand between his toes, the sharp shine of muscle shells. He would sit on the stone jetties and feel the seaweed squish between his fingers as hermit crabs fled from his gaze.

But L had never been to the shore.

He never really had the chance.

Light did though, he'd been there often. It was in Japan though, so he was still oblivious to the secret similarity the lockers had to the ocean. His waves were clear and translucent. Not the ugly opaque L saw. If Light know this, he'd wonder what exactly was so endearing about being stung by jelly fish and seeing upside-down hermit crabs strewn across the sand.

Light continued in ignorance down the halls.

He cast a look into each classroom as he passed, watching the students inside either do their work or sleep. Each teacher seemed to be equally boring, and each teachers pet seemed to be equally annoying. Each one of them wore that eager smile, accessorized with a gleam of determination in their eyes. They were trying to prove themselves. They were trying to look special. Just like everyone else.

Light looked at his feet.

His generic shoes clicked against the floor, only to echoes back into his ears.

He was the same as them. He was smarter, yes. He was more attractive, yes. He was better than basically everyone here. But he was still human. He was still a commodity. He still had the strengths and weaknesses that all humans possessed.

It was this mediocrity, this weakness that he would never escape purely because he was human, that was his downfall.

It was what made him lose her, all those years ago.

Light officially decided he needed air.

Further down the hallways he went, twisting and turning with it's sharp angles and it's militaristic feel. Up one, two flights of stairs. The stairwells were that same white, with that same blue painted on the steps and railings. The window that made up one of the walls was bordered in glass tinted the same color as the stairs. That was the color scheme of the school after all, and Light found it to be highly unoriginal. Not to mention it clashed horribly with the corn yellow of the class rooms. That specific yellow made everything within it's reach feel dirty. Light always washed his hands after lessons. It was all that yellow's fault.

He stepped out of the stairwell, back into the blank hallways. The second story however, was in white and lavender. This color actually managed to bring some sort of warmth to the atmosphere. It was that sweet delicate shade that you would paint a new baby's room. Across a crossway, through a through way, into and out of a double-doorway, and he was facing a locked door. It lurked down a shallow, narrow hallway. One that was obviously supposed to be overlooked.

It was the door to the roof.

Light had no difficulty picking the lock.

He had a tendency to come here when he was feeling down.

The door swung back towards him, and he deftly stepped around it in a well practiced manner. The perilous stairs inside were a comforting dirty grey. They weren't sterile or pseudo-comforting. They were just grey. Just themselves. Light had a strange affinity for these too-narrow steps. He ascended them fondly, anticipating the rush of wind that would overcome him as soon as his head popped up beyond floor level.

And it did.

But that wasn't all that overtook him.

The sight of a white body serving as the horizon between a grey earth and a grey sky registered in his brain.

It quickly upstaged the fleeting feeling of the wind.

Wind that ruffled though auburn hair.

Wind that ruffled through pumice hair.

L was here on the roof with him.

He finally found him.

What luck!

Brown shoes clacked against the cement, the poor, ignored cement. Just a moment ago, it was being admired, but now this newcomer to it's premises had stolen all of it's only admirer's attention. He continued across the roof, expecting a snippy comment or a glare of surprise cast from eyes as black and empty as space it's self. However, as Light approached, L didn't stir in the least. Bangs of black covered his eyes. Light thought of bat wings that had been sewn to his scalp. The spikes were in all the right angles, the thickness appropriate for such a conclusion. It was an odd thought, but L was odd.

"….L?" He kneeled down, steeping around half eaten cupcakes and empty ice-cream cones.

"I was wondering when you would find me, Raito-kun." Light jumped. He was convinced that L was in some state of unconsciousness.

"Were you… waiting for me?" Light looked over his rediscovered friend. He still had paint on him. Red still caked to his hands, still slathered all over his feet. His face still held flecks of black and a streak of scarlet.

"No. I simply deducted that you would look for me eventually, and would stumble upon me one way or the other." He didn't shift at all. Not a single movement came from him, other than from his mouth. He was on his back, laying spread eagle, not hunched or curled in the least. The clouds reflected in his eyes, making the sky black with storm clouds drifting through it. It was sad how the mundane and innocent cumulous and status clouds could be twisted into a storm simply by darkening a few shades. The sky didn't deserve to be tainted the color of ink by L's unwavering stare either. He was unaware of his cruelty towards the atmosphere though, and just kept on watching the day roll by.

"Well, I wasn't looking for you. I did before, but I was just coming up here to get some fresh air. The school is depressing inside." A nod of agreement was all that passed between them after that. They sat in silence for a good, long time, L's eyes still darkening the sky, Light's advancing the time of the scenery to dusk.

"….I am….. Sorry that I disappeared so suddenly. If I worried you…." Light looked down. Still no change in expression, but L seemed to be more _there_ now. Before, it felt like talking to an automated answering service. Now it was like talking to a receptionist.

"It's ok, I figured that wherever you were, you were ok." Finally, L's eyes moved. Down. Eyelashes feathered down, shadowing the whites, irises becoming crescents under the vanilla veils. It was… concerning. "You _are_ ok, right?" The black pools swiveled upwards to meet Light's sunset oceans, once again becoming wide. They still looked heavy.

"Raito-kun. I have not been ok in quite some time. However, I am better than I was last time we met. I have had time to sort through and rearrange things." Light crossed his legs Indian style. He wasn't bothered by the dust that would surely cling to his black pants. He could easily wipe it off with his baby blue sweater that served as his uniform.

"Why are you up here?" Simple and to the point. Very much like Light. It was a contrast to the very un-Light-like action of getting his slacks dirty. A wry smile made it's self known upon a ceramic face.

"I am up here to think. Think and wait." A blink from the upright boy.

"Wait for what?" _**Plick.**__**Plick. Plick**_L's eyes flew back to the sky, once again turning it into an undeveloped photo. Light just looked at the unexpected dark spot on the ground.

_**Plickplick**shhhh**plickplick**ssshhh**plick**shhh**plick**hhhhhhhh**plick**hhhhhhhhhhhhhh………_

A large intake of breath. Light looked back to L as his chest rose. It was amazing to see how alive he could look.

He sighed deeply.

His eyes closed.

The paint began to run.

"This, Raito-kun." A downpour.

"How long have you been waiting?"

"Three weeks now. Not a spot of rain before this. October here does not encourage precipitation." He stayed like that, letting a comfortable almost silence pass between them. "I love the rain. It washed away everything that's not needed. Everything that clutters up my mind." Another contented sigh.

"So……. You've been waiting for three weeks for it to rain?" The skeptical tone was impossible to ignore.

"No. For the first sixteen days I was thinking _and _waiting. After that, I was simply waiting." Light shook his head.

"You have amazing patience. Stunning really. Though, it's a little annoying that I've been all worked up for the past three weeks for basically nothing."

"I am flattered that you were so concerned Raito-kun, but I have already apologized. It is not something that I do often, so I will not do it again." A chuckle came from the other boy, and once again, the rain became the only audible sound. That moment stretched on for a while before Light shifted uncomfortably.

"….The rain's starting to pool around us L." Those amazing eyes opened again, only halfway though. It was probably due to both the rain and disappointment.

"We should go inside the Raito-kun. I do not wish for you to fall ill." The way he got up after that was, simply put, fascinating. It was like he had become fluid himself. His knees came up, heels resting against his rump, and without assistance from his arms, he hauled his torso into a vertical position to rest on his haunches. His arms swung forwards, bringing momentum with them, making his knees dip back down towards the ground, but not touch, his center of gravity changing, and he propelled himself up in opposition to his beloved rain.

Light got up like a normal human being, simply unfolding himself and pushing himself up with his hands.

Sad, mournful eyes turned on him.

"Please accompany me to my room. There we can attend to our rather messy state without being reprimanded."

Light just shrugged in agreement.

If L was the only student in the school with his own room, then whatever, he wasn't about to complain.

He was excited to see how L lived outside of the library anyway.

lllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll

Hoo boy! That was a doozy! I tried to throw in more descriptions of the environment while actually making stuff happen. Hope I didn't overdo it. Who guessed I live in Jersey?! Anyone who lives here totally knows the color of ocean I'm talking about.

So, the current time is 6 am. I've decided that I'm going to tell everyone what time I write as a customary addition to my author's notes by the way. It's fun. Anyway, this chapter was long, so I hope you all enjoy it! It was a long process…. Gah, my brain. I wanted to describe the white of L's eyes as Sclera, because that's the scientific term (thanks wikipedia), but I couldn't make it fit nicely. I wanted to use big words to make Light sound smarter. He finally had a bit more development in this chapter! Not as subtle as the last chapter, but I'm getting a bit tired of beating around the bush. I'm still trying desperately to not just rush into L's past. Calm, slow steps… hoo, it's hard. Anyway…

Thankyou for reading, and thank you for all the people who dropped me a review! Please continue doing so!

P.S. God I can't edit this right now, so if there are some horrendous errors, please accept my apologies. I really can't re-read all of this tonight. I'll do it later when I edit the last chapter (I didn't edit or proof-read that either XD sorry guys, it's a draw back of late-night writing).

P.S.S. I swear I haven't forgotten about my other stories!!


	10. Perfection

Wow! I'm sorry everyone! I fell off the face of the earth for a bit there, yes? Spring break hit, where I basically lived over my friend's house for a week, we beat the endless set list on Rock band on Hard (I played bass), did most of my English project, got reaaaaaaally tired from the switch from a nocturnal to a regular sleep schedule, and had some sort of a social life! So, sorry for the lack of updates! Things should pick back up now though, since I shouldn't be that big of a zombie this week.

However, it's Saturday, at 4:21 am, so I'm not sure how my Monday will turn out……

A quick note about the last couple chapters: Ha, uhm, I accidentally made Light waaaaaaaaaaay out of character. I basically made him and his insights uh…me… for like two chapters. Oops! I was feeling really artsy, so I forgot to keep him in character! And this chapter's probably going to wind up OOC too, because it kind of needs to be, but I should fix it next chapter! Celebrate!

ANOTHER NOTE: The Death Note live action movie is playing in select theatres in America for two days only! Not sure what dates though, but it's in this month's shojo beat, so…. Yeah. Just to put that out there. I'm pretty sure it's like the 27th and 29th of April.

ONE LAST ONE: I keep forgetting to say that in the chapter with the scary painting in it, I was trying to get the aura of B more, because B's scary. O.o So yeah, I had him in mind, and I hope it got across.

Disclaimer: Don't own, don't sue.

One real last note, I hate having to use a new border…. Graaawr.

llllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll

Light hadn't even set foot in the room yet, and already, he was fascinated.

There wasn't anything in particular about the deep, dark stained wood or the ornate golden handle that made him fidget in anticipation.

It was just the feel.

Simply the _weight_ that came from the door.

It was like, if he stepped through this door, he would be whisked away from this world. Maybe he's just had too much Stephen King for a lifetime. As L turned the handle, Light could swear he heard a faint _dada-chuck?_

But when the door opened, there was no trace of horrifying appendage-eating lobstrocities.

Only the scent of old, dusty candles greeted him.

And the brilliant sight of color-treated light falling through mismatched glass.

Light didn't speak as he walked in after his dark counterpart, didn't gape at the beauty of the room either. He simply observed the way L melted into the scenery, his black and white color-scheme offsetting the sweet colored light that painted the walls.

"Raito-kun, there are towels in the bathroom. You may take care of yourself first. You may also shower, if you wish. By the time you come back out, there should be fresh clothes for you." Oily eyes were resting on golden suns, but they made no real connection. It was like L was simply being a host. Light nodded, giving a noncommittal shrug and ignoring the urge to ask what exact method was used to bring these clothes. He knew there would be no real answer.

So, he walked into the bathroom, stripped, and got into the shower.

And meanwhile, L was a bit of a mess.

He pitched a quick call to Watari inform him of Light's garment needs, quoting his sizes perfectly from memory of his school record. After that though, he was free to lay in turmoil on his gently yielding bed as the sound of water from both outside and inside trickled into his safe-haven. He closed his eyes. Yes, he had managed to sort some things out in his isolation, but not everything. He had made very little progress at all in regard his mental state and he knew that the questions Light would come to ask would set him off again.

He was fragile.

He was strong.

He was a contradiction.

Everything about him was a violent contrast, but he didn't know if he wanted Light to know that. He did know that, in actuality, he wanted Light to become closer to him.

He was only afraid of him getting _too_ close.

For what reason, he wasn't sure, but still, he knew he needed the boy to be the one he could share himself with. They were equal; on the same wavelength, and he was confident that anything he said would at the least be empathized with. Perhaps not understood, because, well, it's hard to understand situations you've never been in, but Light would be able to feel what he had felt.

He knew he would.

Watari came in then, the customary uniform in his aged hands.

"Ryuuzaki…." He cast a glance over to the closed bathroom door. "You've made a friend? Is he who the past few weeks have been about?"

L simply stared.

And held out his hand for the clothes that were promptly placed into them.

He didn't really want to answer questions about what went through his head.

Even to his grandfather.

However, he did bring him food and other necessities over the past few weeks, so he deserved something.

"He could be considered a friend, I suppose. I'm not sure how he will continue to affect my psyche. Thank you, Watari." The older gentleman politely removed himself from the room. L did feel a little bad for treating him like a butler sometimes, but well, he was still currently the closest person to himself, so Watari had to expect some sort of payment for that proximity.

And then, steam filtered out of a now ajar door.

And out walks Light.

In only a towel.

"You can get in now, L. I tried to be quick so you wouldn't be stuck out here shivering wet."

L was _staring_.

_Hardcore staring._

Light's body was….. Amazing. Gently tanned, subtly toned into a sleek and slender form, no unsightly body hair to speak of, and not a blemish in sight.

L was far too proud to let his eyes widen like a thirteen year old boy at the annual adult entertainment convention, but he did feel his hands grow a tad warm.

_He was envious._

"Oh, thanks for the clothes... You should go ahead and get in now." The mostly naked boy walked over to the not quite frozen, but not relaxed L to remove his belongings from his grasp.

"Yes, I think I will." He rose, dodging around the other occupant, to walk over to his hamper.

"Forgive me Raito-kun, but my hamper is in here, so I will mostly strip here to refrain from making a mess of the bathroom floor." He was more than embarrassed, but he had a competitive spirit and, well, he hated wet bathroom floors. They made his feet feel pruney.

Now, Light had a lot of pride too, but he couldn't help but let his eyes widen.

I mean, holy crap, L was about to _strip in front of him!_

_WHAT THE HELL?!_

He watched as clingy white was peeled away from smooth cream as L discarded his shirt.

Light was, once again, captivated.

He thought the only thing about the boy's body that was supposed to be interesting was his face.

And he was right.

L's body was totally normal, not anything peculiar about it.

It was just too perfect, too beautiful to look away.

_He was envious._

The pants came next, exposing lean legs and strange, wiggly feet. In his boxers, he awkwardly shuffled away to the bathroom, not exchanging any more words with Light. Copper eyes took in the playful way vertebrae poked at skin, the elegant, lazy curve of the spine and knees.

And then the door closed.

And he was left alone.

It wasn't so bad though; L's room was interesting enough.

After he dressed, he decided to do a thorough survey.

There were candles of varying hues scattered throughout the cavernous room, all of them covered in a considerable amount of dust. They looked like they were placed there simply for the medley of aromas they would make.

Light performed a perfunctory pirouette, followed by a dainty decent into the downy depths. Apparently, L had lain on it while he was soaking wet. Did that boy have no heed for mold?! Light instead decided to take inventory on what exactly was _in_ the room.

One large, gold-framed oval mirror, two dark, wood bureaus, one queen sized bed with a plain white comforter, two black night tables, one dresser, and three table lamps.

The lamps.

The windows.

Light stepped closer to the latter first.

Shards of color flew across his face on their pilgrimage to add life to the black and white of the bed set. He put a hand up to the medley over the should-be ordinary window.

It was sea glass.

Sea glass that was tied together with thin wire.

Small twists and knots and turns and braids of shining wire cradled each piece of glass.

L had created make-shift stained glass.

Light looked the entire work over as a whole, and saw that there was almost an even amount of each color. Each piece had been carefully selected so that no two colors were next to each other. L had put a lot of time into this. Light looked over to the aforementioned lamps. The circular shade that was over each one was the same. When turned on, they too would toss all the colors in the spectrum against white walls, crushing the blank sterility there.

L really did live in a world of lollipops and rainbows.

lllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll

Whoo! 5: 40am! Yeah I know, most of this chapter was author's notes, but well, I didn't want to crush the next scene in with this one. The next one will actually have sharing time! Hurray! Well, maybe. It all depends. Well, I hope that the hints of oncoming crushes were horrible, and that they weren't too sudden. I hope it doesn't seem like it came out of the blue.

PLEASE TELL ME SOMEONE GOT THE DARK TOWER REFERENCE! PLEEEEEEEASE!

Also, be kind, and keep your writer in mind. Drop me a review, if you feel like it. And well, if you've managed to read through my author's notes this chapter, kudos to you! You'll get lots of love next chapter.


	11. Wake Up

I'm alive everyone! Sorry I fell off the face of the earth for a bit there…. But during my absence I went to a My Chemical Romance concert at the electric factory in Philly on May 6th and it was AWESOME! I swear to god, the best day of my life. Seven years of fandom man, and the first MCR concert I've managed to get to. Anyway, I'll make this short so you can get on with it. Also, I made this chapter extra long to make up for the wait, so I hope you enjoy all six pages!

As a note: Last chapter I had my friend beta it, so if you could tell the difference and have an opinion about it let me know! This one is just regularly edited by me.

Disclaimer: Don't own, don't sue

* * *

L was trapped in the bathroom.

He was cemented to the floor, wide eyes unable to leave the door handle.

It gleamed back at him in golden brilliance, secretly threatening him with what lie beyond the wooden barricade. Once L rejoined Light, things would start grinding into motion again, making the machine of progress come back to life to eat him alive.

There was no way to stop it.

It was an inevitability.

He could stare at that door handle for as long as he wanted, but no escape would ever be found.

Despite this, he was still standing there, waiting for a solution to come meandering along to save him like some reluctant hero.

The problem was, Light was curious.

To make it worse, he was smart too.

He would be able to see through excuses and half truths. He would start asking questions very soon. Questions about his room, his family, his home, his school history. Questions about him. If questions about him were asked, very personal and closely guarded secrets would have to be the reply.

If he wasn't afraid of L disappearing for another three weeks, Light probably would have started the questioning on the roof. However, now they're both out of the rain and would soon be in the nice comfortable environment of L's cozy room with nowhere to run to. No excuses were available for any sort of retreat from the invasion.

Well, invasion was such a strong word. It couldn't possibly be that bad. Surely Light would be able to tell where the line between sharable and non-sharable information was drawn. L knew it wouldn't be any sort of traumatizing confession of his deepest thoughts and memories but….

He was still scared.

Scared to make that connection.

Scared to truly share something with a piece of reality. He was afraid to climb out of his shell of protective delusions. Even though he knew his world was only in his head, and he knew the difference between what really happens and what he sees as happening, he still didn't want to lose it.

It was all he had left.

It contained his hopes and aspirations and philosophy and knowledge and all the beauty the world had to offer condensed inside of his skull. Rolling hills and gentle grey seas danced through his neurons and leapt over synapses, making poetry and colors flow through his veins.

He didn't want to lose that.

But…

He needed to.

It was unhealthy to live in such complete delirium, and it was not the most stable lifestyle. He needed to at least live in the true world for the majority of the time, and perhaps retreat to his fantasy in moments of relaxation..

L felt the heavy weight of his eye lids come to rest on their better halves, eyelashes gently kissing his cheeks hello.

This was something he wanted.

He wanted to wake up.

And he wanted Light to do it.

Without looking, fingers of frost found their way around gold covered in steamy condensation.

He opened the door to find Light bent over, closely examining his lamps, face covered in hues of summer and winter alike. The effect was slightly warped on his sun blessed skin, the colors being cast into the warmer end of the spectrum.

A smile snuck it's way onto L's face. It was a whisper in a snowstorm, softly making it's self known through the almost silence of crashing snowflakes.

He looked down to his hands. More honest shades were displayed on the near perfect white of his skin. It'd be better if he was an absolute white, but well, there was blood running through his veins, so that was impossible.

The smile was overtaken by winter winds.

Light turned around at the sound of metal latching back together like long separated lovers.

His first thought was that L looked tragic.

He was split into a million pieces, separated and cracked into sections of pastels and bolds.

It suited him.

So many pieces to the puzzle, none of them agreeing with each other, coming together to make non-adhesive contradictions and contrasts. It was a nonsensical jumble of emotion and thought and fact. It was all loosely organized chaos that failed miserably to form stability.

It was tragic, and it was perfect.

It was perfection begging to be fixed, begging to be put into order, it's peices to be forced into place one way or another. To either dissolve into delusional anarchy, or into one highly structured and reasonable color-coded rainbow.

It didn't realize it was already beautiful.

Yes, at that moment, divided into a disarray of disorderly butterflies…

L was beautiful.

"How did you make all of these?" Amber eyes shied away from the painted masterpiece of the room to be redirected at the lampshade like a reconnecting phone call. It was never dropped. That space of time just now had never passed. Time just skipped over it.

"I ordered the materials offline and then assembled them with pliers over the course of one week." He crossed over to his bed, looking at it as if contemplating whether or not it would spontaneously combust the instant he sat on it.

As a matter of fact, that was exactly what he was contemplating.

He placed the odds at about .052781 percent.

He decided to risk it and took a seat, getting into his trademark position.

"That must have been really tedious, but why didn't you get the glass yourself? It's all over the beaches so it's easy enough to find." He followed L's lead, looking at him the entire time. L had become a boy of stained glass. "It's kind of stupid to have to pay for something that's technically only litter."

"It was the only means in which I had to acquire it, for I myself have never been to the beach." L could feel time moving forwards now, slipping through the present and encouraging the near future to come to pass. Light would no doubt be drawn to this information and use it to delve deeper.

There was a tingle at the bottom of his spine.

The kind you get when you're headed towards a tree at fifty and realize you forgot about your seatbelt.

"Well, that's a shame. It really is beautiful when you get to see it. Why haven't you been there? It's not that far from here." L smiled somewhere in the back of his head. Light was trying to ask the important things while hiding them in conversation. He was trying to make it less awkward and strenuous to answer. Well, at least he understood that revealing anything about himself was not exactly an easy task.

"Raito-kun..." He paused. Took a deep breath. Let his eyes shut in effort. His throat squeezed the words down, but the force of his lungs pushed through anyway, making his lips form into words.

"I have not left this school in fourteen years."

An atom bomb was just dropped on Light.

His head swivelled towards the anomoly next to him, eyes the size of quarters, mouth glued shut and into one dreaded line. Shocked wasn't the right word for the way he was feeling. Perhaps stunned fit?

No.

The closest thing to what could describe it would have to be _horrified_.

Horrified and appalled.

What had _happened to him?!_

A long silence followed. Light stared into the Technicolor cheek of his counterpart, while L himself just stared as hard as he possibly could at a red spot on the opposite wall. He didn't let it show but...

His teeth were clenched together so hard that a high ringing sounded in his ears.

It was accompanied by faint crackling.

His gums were surely turning an awkward yellow from the pressure.

"Why... What made you stay in here?" His eyes moved to the floor at the question. He could still feel the intense stare burning a hole through his face like Sulfuric acid. To distract himself, he worked out the steps that eventually lead to the final reaction that created said acid, that reaction being SO3(g) plus H2O(1) made H2SO4(l).

Unfortunately, the three parts that went into this process only took 1.35 seconds to work out, so he had to respond with little time for a reprieve.

He couldn't tell Light everything now, but he could at least try to give it a start.

"... This room was... My father's." He couldn't stand it anymore. Anxiety was filling up inside of him, faster and faster every time he opened his mouth. He had to stand up, had to get away. At the very least have a little distance. He stalked over to the window, the mismatching splotches of refracted light spread out over his body, each piece claiming more territory for it's self. He put his hand against his art, fingers splayed over wire and jagged edges.

"I could only come here..." Another long stretch of silence rolled on for a good while. He just stood there, looking out onto the lake. His throat was fighting him against, and now his chest was against him, clentching and weighing him down. He felt his hands give a slight tremble.

"Every one else was gone already." Glass pressed against vanilla flesh, bringing out trickles of fine wine to mingle in the waltz of flavors and aromas that inhabited the room.

"I only had him. When... he was taken from me too, I only had this place left. This was the only place that had remnants of him in it. But…" His forehead rested against the net of prejudiced prisms, the weight causing the frail wire to bow at the point of pressure.

"I could not live here with him surrounding me. I had to make it so that I was unable to see that everything in here was his." The creaking of the bed was heard, followed by the soft rustling of carpet.

"So… That's the reason you made all of this?"

L didn't feel the need to nod.

"…… Thankyou for letting me come here." It was L's turn to be surprised. He turned his head to face his friend and wondered why they were eye level. He realized that he had stood up straight sometime during his explanation. He expected Light to do nothing but question what happened, to ask about his family. Ask about his father.

...

His brother...

But all he said was thank you?

L's hand was still digging into the structure in his window when warmth was wrapped around it. Light was pulling it away, making the glass slide out of the sheath of ivory it was residing in.

"I won't pressure you to tell me more. Bringing me here in the first place must have been hard, it must have been incredibly painful to talk to me like this." Their eyes met, burning suns to black holes, objects in space falling into each other, trading gravitational pull and sharing atoms and densities and breaking even the most vague laws of quantum physics.

Soft fingers were pressed against forgiving cotton, knuckles being the main source of contact. They were facing each other now. Through the fabric, L could feel a heartbeat. It was strong, passionate.

Real.

"L, don't force yourself to open up. You'll only make yourself feel more pain, and you'll only shrink further away from the world. You'll shrink away from _me_. I want to support you, to be your friend." There was a squeeze, and then release. L let his hand fall to his side like it was broken. No resistance force to steady it, no grace.

He was suffocated.

Light was close to him. Light's living heart was close to him.

He'd lied to that heart.

Well, only halfway, but still...

"Just let it happen over time. As we become better friends, it'll be easier. Just wait for it. But, I think I'll get going for now, it looks like you need some time to mull things over a bit. Just don't disappear again, ok?" A pat on the shoulder, and Light was gone. He seemed hurried, almost in a panic. He seemed like he was the one that needed time. Time to process the half truth that he didn't see through.

L looked back to his floor.

His carpet was black, but he knew where he was looking.

He looked to the discolored part he was really trying to hide.

He looked to the three feet of his carpet that were soaked in blood.

* * *

Waoooooooooooooooh! Yeah, that's right! I'm finally starting to unveil L's past! Exciting, yes? I'm actually kinda disappointed that I didn't put more of his past into this chapter, but I didn't want L to just blurt everything out, but the details should start coming together pretty soon. Hopefully it won't be disappointing. I'm a little nervous about unveiling it because there's so much build up that I hope it won't turn out gay. I mean, it's awesome to me, and the one person I've revealed the prototype to (She doesn't know the revamped version, HA!) so, hopefully it's as much as it should be! I also tried to squeeze in a bit of bonding time, what with Light holding L's hand to his chest and everything. I thought it was cute anyway…

Drop me a review so you can yell at me for taking so long to update!


	12. Duet

-1So! It's been quite a bit, yes? Sorry, had lots of graduation practice where I was roasting, then graduation, then enjoying my last real summer, parties, and a wonderful MMO I found. Also ,I've had a bit of a block where I knew what I wanted to write, but I wasn't in the mood for the longest time so it was all crap. But now, I'm back for another chapter that hopefully you'll enjoy! Thankyou for your patience, really!

Disclaimer: Don't own, don't sue

* * *

_Fuck_ L.

Seriously, just _fuck_ that guy.

What the _hell_ is _with_ him?!

That wasn't what L was supposed to be like. L was meant to be strong, dependable, a person nothing could touch. He obviously had problems, and needed help, but really, he wasn't supposed to have problems this serious.

But alas, here he is with a presumably dead father and a fourteen year streak of isolation.

L was supposed to be a strong boy, who just needed help every once in a while. He was supposed to be the stronger one, the one with no emotions. But he…it was a façade.

L…. He wasn't…

He wasn't supposed to be like this.

He wasn't supposed to be comparable to Light on this level.

L was meant to be an uplifting presence, a source of stimulating conversation and someone to actually enjoy being with, someone to grow into a real person with…but…..

It could never… be that way now.

Light slumped to the floor. He had somehow fled to the music room. In the shadow of an empty corner, he surveyed the familiar area, a feeble attempt to distract himself. In every corner other than his stood music stands, harps, accordions, instrument cases, bows that careless owners left out, and chairs. A fleeting image of L trying to play the harp with only two fingers danced before his irises before he snuffed it out with his eyelids. The rather comical image was nice, but it reminded him of his newest discoveries.

Fingers blessed by the warmth of the sun dug into navy carpet. The moonlight poured in through the vast window to his right. It took up almost the entire wall. The touch of the cool light made the black lacquered grand piano that was sitting right in the middle of the zoned area shine with an impossible sheen. If needed it could be used as a substitute mirror, it was that perfectly finished. The window made a spotlight just for it. All other instruments of innocent beauty were shunned and hidden in the darkness, wholly dwarfed by the magnificence of the main attraction.

Light curled up. However, even assuming this defensive pose only brought his memories closer. His memories of L and his freak-outs and confessions, the memory of L's loss….

The memory of _his_ loss.

The reason he's here to begin with.

No.

_NO._

He would _NOT_ think of that. Although it was related to why he wanted such a simple and supportive relationship with L, he refused to think of the actual subject it's self.

So, he tormented himself once more with L.

L… As soon as Light first saw him, he knew that L wasn't normal. The again, that's probably the basic reaction. The way that light saw it though, he was different in a superior way, a more intelligent way. He looked so strong, so self sustaining, so used to being alone. Light wanted to lean on him, while protecting him and helping him in anyway he could, but the main part was that L would help carry him along, he would share his strength and teach Light how to walk on his own, and carry people himself.

But….

L… wasn't like that.

At least, not after he met Light.

So now, Light was stuck trying to carry both loads.

He wanted to help L, wanted him to come into the real world and really live, but he can't do it himself.

L was leaning on him now, with all his weight.

And he was just too damn heavy.

Light promptly ruffled his hair and stood up. He was being far too dramatic. Maybe L just doesn't like being outside? Maybe he's deathly allergic to something outside! Although typically that wouldn't be something to get excited about, if it made L more simple, easier to carry, Light would totally allow himself to be excited about it. He stepped over to the piano, gently grazing over the top of the keys with the tips of his fingers. He briefly wondered where in god's name all the money for this stuff came from, but pushed it aside. All that really matters is that the ample funding Wammy's receives got this piano, and that right now it was all his.

He sat down with all the grace of a true pianist, though he could hardly say he had _that _level of skill. He was good, great even, but compared to some of the people he's seen, he was an amateur at best. Still, he gently forced the keys down in a simple C chord, enjoying the sweet, simple sound. He slowly made his way through scales, dancing around in the circle of fifths, giving his fingers the simple pleasure of doing what they love. Scales weren't complicated, but calculating which notes would be double or triple flatted or sharped in the next round occupied him enough to slip into a relaxed trance.

Slowly, oh so slowly, he shifted his fingers away from the impending A scale to fall on the first chord of I Don't Love You. The My Chemical Romance song was filled with melancholy bitterness, and though the lyrics didn't quite match his situation, the lamenting bass part and the resentful melody was a perfect evening partner. However, even as he played, he pondered his next tune, prying into his archives to try to find soemthing even more fitting. Classical Bach or Beethoven was either too popular to enjoy anymore, or he couldn't do proper justice to the piece with his skill level, so he refrained from that category. By the end of his first number, he was already sliding down, one octave at a time, to reach the perfect chord to begin what came to mind next. A slightly repetitive melody came about, low and calculating, waiting for the other, higher, more innocent half to join in. He always felt this song come from inside of him, and he always played it at least once when he visited.

It was sufficiently calming, soothing, and relaxing. He felt his muscles start to unravel.

Until he heard the click of the door.

He paused, fingers dragging across his beloved keys, trying to curl in.

Light wouldn't let them. The pause sounded like it was written in the music.

He didn't need to ask who it was. Their encounter happened just a few hours ago, and Light knew that he would come searching for him that night.

But…. L didn't come to him.

He slumped over to one of the many cases on the corner.

Light watched him out of the corner of his eye, trying to not make it too obvious that the boy's presence had disrupted his bliss. If L could live in a fantasy all of the time, why couldn't Light have one or two moments of his own? Regardless, he kept playing, if for nothing more than appearance. He didn't want to hint at his own problems.

So, he focused once more on his playing, making more complex moves, more spaced out and difficult hand placements and chords. He was once more falling into a zen state, loosing himself in the ballet of notes and arpeggios and harmonies hidden in his song. He was ignoring L, comple-

He couldn't play.

His fingers wouldn't work anymore.

The sound of a distant violin froze his fingers to the keys, they trapped the digits like ivory spiders. A set of glistening stars floated through the empty spaces of the room until they fell upon the maker of such fine music.

L was facing the corner, violin drawn and tucked under his chin.

He was playing Light's song.

"Raito-kun, this song will not sound correct unless I have an accompaniment." Though Light was still in a stupor at L's ability to learn a new song in most likely about five minutes, he still found himself picking up where L was, blending together the two instruments, making a waltz of parts and harmonies and melodies and solos and elegance.

"This song is special to you. I have heard you play it often." A slight blush crept across Light's face. He didn't exactly like the idea of being watched.

"Have you been following me?" It was a gentle question, more of a sweet chide than an accusation.

"No, but I have been present in these halls while you were playing it. If you have forgotten, this room is very poorly soundproofed." They continued on, but now with less fervor. Now that conversation had started.

"Why are you over there in the corner?" His fingers became more gentle on the keys, lowering the volume, becoming less precise. A sweet, graceful decrescendo.

"I do not wish to overshadow the sound of your rather excellent playing. The violin has a habit of taking the spotlight." Light stopped all together now, letting a smile spread across his face like a sunrise. L stopped too, and when he turned around, a hint of sadness could be seen through his curious eyes.

"You play wonderfully as well. You should start this time." A strangely confident reply smile sliced it's way through paper skin, as if accepting a challenge. The two toned violinist stepped closer to the center of the room, coming to a halt on the right side of the piano. He refrained from saying anything, simply drew his bow across the strings in two curt notes. Light was admittedly confused at the scene, seeing as how he expected something more complex, but he waited patiently. Plain candlestick fingers ushered out two higher notes, flowing in a cycle for a bit, before abruptly launching into a complex web of quick notes.

"Raito-kun should join in. It's a rather fun challenge." The smirk was still in place, and he was obviously enjoying taking the lead. Well, not one to disappoint, Light joined in, taking up the original cycle of notes. So, they played together for a long time, playing original music, contemporary songs, and just whatever they wanted. For now, lost in the music, L's past didn't matter, and Light was too far gone to care about his own.

"You know Raito-kun, I have told you about me, yet I still know little about you. You should tell me about your family."

Of course, L would ruin what little solace he had found.

* * *

Errrrr, that was lame. That ending was soooooooooooo lame, and I'm really sorry.

I couldn't think of a way to end it! RAWR! I tried, I really did, but I think I got carried away in the music thing….. The circle of fifths, btw, is a music thing that has to do with scales, and unless you're involved in music, you won't get it, same with the arpeggios, double and triple sharps and flats, and er, anything else that sounded like mumbo jumbo XD. By the way, I'm a soprano/clarinet player, so I have limited knowledge of the piano and the violin, but I'm around them enough to know a bit about them, but if I did something wrong, let me know because this is the only extra curricular activity that they'll do that I actually know something about XD.

By the way, if you didn't catch on, the song Light was playing was, well, Light's theme, and L was playing L's theme A. I couldn't really imagine them doing his B-theme….

Anyway, thanks for reading, please drop a review! I'll try to update soon, I really will!


	13. Light Lights up Secrets

-1Ok! So, hopefully awesomeness will be what comprises this chapter! This might be my last update for at least a week, because I'm going to DISNEYLAND! YEAH! XD I've never been before, so I'm excited, shut up… ANYWAY, to the story.

Disclaimer: Don't own, don't sue.

(Laaaaaadies, and gentlemen! Welcome to the disclaimer, that's right the disclaimer!)

Anyone get this quote? The Offspring? Ixnay on the Hombre? Track 1?

TT I'm so uncool……

* * *

Light was…well, he wasn't happy.

L did have a point, he did reveal something important about himself, so why shouldn't Light?

Because Light was an egotistical bastard who thought his secrets were the more important than anyone else's. There was no way he would share something deep with anyone.

However, this was L……

L's problems were comparable in scale, even Light was able to begrudgingly accept that, but comparable didn't mean they were the same. Even if they outweighed Light's conflicts by far, he wouldn't open up just based on that. But still….

L at least deserved a little. He was trying to open up, so, well, Light would be a huge douche if he didn't give _something_ back.

So, as they finished out the previous piece, he eased himself into the next one , moving along the melody without giving L much time to catch on to make a harmony. Light just wanted to play, and he wanted his companion to listen to both pieces being played out.

"My family was average. Nothing particularly special or strange ever happened in my house. My mom and dad have been married for around thirty years, and they had me and my younger sister. She's two years younger than me." He chuckled to himself, smirking as he played.

"The most unusual person was me and my grades." He continued along his song, the sound sad and resentful, speaking in tenderly ominous and sweetly foreboding tones, letting the higher notes swing back and forth, waltzing around in gentle sorrow.

"My sister had a good friend. She was a family friend, who was dear them. I was never particularly close, but I still cared a lot about her." There was a brief pause, a hesitation. This was only supposed to be a peek, and already he'd opened the door to more. He had to speak carefully.

"She was in a sort of accident, and it really traumatized my sister. Sayu…" Another pause, this one a bit longer. Light bit his lip due to nerves, He was really approaching something fragile here. Knocking on a glass door with a mallet.

"After that, Sayu began to develop an anxiety disorder as she became depressed. She didn't go anywhere or see anyone." Here he paused in his story, concentrating on the song thinking of his next words.

"We had a piano in our house." He got to a playful part on the upper keys, a pathetic attempt at lifting he piece's mood. "I wrote this song for her. Cheerful and happy, but smothered by what happened. She came downstairs after I had just finished transcribing it onto paper. She said "You should name it "Light Lights up Light", and I said "Well, that's a little redundant. Why name it that?"" A small, rueful smile made it's self known on his tan face, and he glanced at L, who was now looking quite serious, violin held loosely in two fingers by his side.

"She told me that even the brightest sunlight couldn't make her smile, unless her big brother was in it." A small chuckle escaped his lips at the silly ramblings of a thirteen year old, but his eyes were warm and gentle as they surveyed his hand's placing.

"I told her thank you, and she went back upstairs. I didn't really get to say how much that simple, naïve admiration meant to me. She was only thirteen, so she didn't really get the impact of what she said She didn't care that I was the smartest student in Japan, or the most popular guy in school. She loved the person that was her older brother." His smile gradually dropped away as he finished playing.

He…. Didn't want to say the rest.

He couldn't.

But damn him, L opened his mouth.

"Raito-kun, why are you speaking in the past tense?" A strained moment passed between them, no sound to distract them, no escape.

"I must have done it by accident. Don't look too far into it." With that, Light began playing again, a much less personal tune. A Muse song that he felt was very befitting of both of their situations.

"I see that Raito-kun does not wish to discuss this farther. Ruled by Secrecy then?" He raised his instrument to rest under his chin, sweeping into the vocal part like a mild wind.

Of course Light didn't want to talk about it anymore.

Every bit of it was his fault.

Misa was his fault.

Sayu was too.

…Sayu….

They didn't speak after that, simply played through the highs and lows of the song, feeling the tension and release of conflicted notes and swirling patterns. A piano solo came around, and L took a moment to observe the vigor with which Light played. He didn't get ridiculously into it, but his head bowed on occasion, arms flexing as he pressed the keys down harder for the more intense parts. He was distantly passionate, too trained in controlling himself to get too far lost.

After they were done, they just stood there, not really looking at each other. L was rooted in place, not wanting to leave, but not being able to pull himself out of the silence. He didn't want to press the issue of Light's past, but he couldn't think of much else to talk about.

And well, they've already talked about his own past enough for one day.

So, he went back to his corner in silence and placed his violin back into it's case. He was a little sad to put it away, but Light hadn't had a night of decent sleep in a while now, and they both could use some alone time to absorb the new information both had received. Of course, some part of him refused to let him just walk out. It sort of-

L stopped in the middle of snapping the latches shut.

That part of him didn't want to leave because it wanted to be close to Light.

It wanted to hold him, to whisper that things would be ok.

Give him sweet nothings to hold on to.

He didn't say good bye. Neither of them did. They both just nodded to each other as L stepped into the cool air of the hallway. That part of him ached as the air he breathed in lacked the scent of his companion's light cologne. It was disturbing, the things emerging from the back of his head, but he put them back in their place. He decided instead to turn his thoughts to less awkward topics.

So, he and Light did indeed have a plethora of things in common.

Somehow, he expected Light to have something like this hidden away.

And, just like how he himself was doing things, Light was only letting him see part of it.

Just a foot in the door, on both sides.

However, L could tell that Light had let him a little too close to the whole truth. He wasn't experienced enough to avoid dropping hints. If Sayu was a year younger than Light, and she was thirteen when he wrote that song for her, and Light's only almost eighteen, then he's only had around three years to cope, and this obviously ran deeper than his sister simply being depressed.

L, on the other hand.

He was very experienced with hiding his past.

He's had since he was five years and three days old to learn.

* * *

Look, I can't NOT put a tidbit of L's past in here! So, we're starting into Light's past, against his will. There's still more, mind you, because you can't just ruin a character by making a family member depressed, oh no no, you have to fuck with them Anyway, the next chapter will be more L oriented, and I'm SO EXCITED! I can't wait to write it, and I want to right now, but I have stuff to do…. Bleh. But, I'll try to update either one more time before Disney, or after. Hope you guys liked the chapter, please review!

P.S. I made it to four pages guys! One more than usual!


	14. A Change of Direction

-1Hello! Just to let every one know, going to Disney on your birthday is the BEST FRIGGIN IDEA EVER OH MY GOD! I counted how many times I was told happy birthday, and it came out to roughly 130 people! ONE HUNDRED AND THIRTY! Including belle, Ariel, Cinderella, friggin MARY POPPINS, Alice, Wendy, the green fary from sleeping beauty, the fairy godmother, and I was glared at unnervingly by Maleficent (so I'll call that being said happy birthday to by a villain…) and I hugged Peter Pan! EEE!

Uhm…. Anyway….

I swear I'm not three, really, I'm not.

As another awesome note, I saw the Dark Night on my birthday, in DisneyWorld, the day it came out. YEAH. AND IT WAS SWEEEEEEEEEEEEET GO SEE IT! Anyone else see a similarity to L and Watari from batman and Alfred? Polite, understanding butlers who tend to their master's every whim, two vigilantes who are rich, strong, have strong senses of justice, incredibly intelligent…

Yeah, I'm crazy.

Also, if anyone else goes to Disneyworld any time soon, you should make a cardboard cut out of L and take pictures of him in Epcot in all of the candy shops around the "world". I wanted to, but alas, no cardboard, or scissors were to be found….

I'M DONE NOW, TO STORY! (sorry for the huge delay, just so much awesome happened I had to share XD)

Disclaimer: Don't own, don't sue, but I do own a cute card board cut out of L that I should've taken to Disney……

* * *

"_What… What the HELL are you doing?!"_

"_LAW-"_

"_Don't you DARE speak to him! You think you can talk to someone above you like that?"_

"_Stop it! What are you doing to her?!"_

"_What does it look like? I am releasing my dear brother of his burdens."_

"_Don't look, please do-"_

"_WHAT did I just say? Really now, you should pay more attention."_

"_No. Don't do it! STOP IT!"_

"GOD NO!! STOP B!!"

And with that, L said hello to the morning.

He sat there, in his simple queen sized bed with his hand out stretched in front of him, sweat rolling down his forehead, body in an upright position.

That was why he didn't sleep.

It wasn't because he couldn't, or that the sugar kept him awake, no.

It was his past hunting him down.

With breath haphazardly entering his lungs, he decided he needed to get out of this room. He needed to get out of this black and white and rainbow all over room. He needed someplace real, somewhere safe.

He had one place in mind, but hesitation lingered on the fringes of his decision. He was positive that Light wouldn't appreciate a six am wake up call. Despite that, he still lifted himself out of bed.

He just couldn't be alone right now.

He just couldn't be in this room right now.

So, he began to shuffle down the halls, hands shaking along with his legs, making his journey rather precarious when it came to the stairs up to the boy's dorm. Step after step, he had the constant paranoia of his knees giving out in mid-climb. When he had conquered the mountain of marble, he came to a halt.

The door was in front of him, but he wondered if he had the strength to open it. He desperately wanted to but he didn't want to dive into another fit of sharing. He…

He didn't want Light to know this part yet.

Just, not yet.

He felt his resolve drowning. Drowning in his own fear of being found out or forced into coming out from his protective lair of lush labyrinths and undersea caves.

But then again, this was Light.

Light understood the boundaries he had set up, because he had some too. He would be able to tell when it was the wrong time for questions, and the right time for comforting. A pale foot crept forward, still unsure, but the movement held a bit more strength now that it had some sort of assurance that things wouldn't go horribly wrong. A still shaking hand rose to turn a bronze handle, another came to push against heavy oak to reveal the dark chambers within.

He could tell which bed was Light's from a mile away.

Not only had he already memorized where it was from the last time he woke his friend, but also his was the only bed that was always in impeccable shape, bedclothes always neatly tucked in, regardless of whether or not someone was in them.

Light's head also held the only hair capable of glowing with the morning sun.

It made his spot in the dorm luminescent amongst a sea of dark silk.

L neared the resting place of this radiance and looked over it's source. Tan skin that seemed to hum in resonance with the golden tendrils that were trickling through the windows. Lips touched with pink were opened ever so slightly in the ease of Queen Maab's hold. Fingers like feathers were gently clasped around the very edge of his pillow's case, like a small child holding on to their mother's hand, finding safety and comfort in that warm, caring grasp.

L found himself once again in the arms of envy.

Not for this sleeping beauty.

But for his peaceful sleep.

There were no rivers of blood flowing through this boy's place of wonders.

So, maybe he could share.

He nonchalantly, and little bit purposefully, untucked the comforter and top sheet, feeling a small wave of warmth rush away like a song on the ocean wind. He slowly, oh so slowly, eased onto the fluffy down comforter, sliding beneath the silken underbelly of the sheets. One foot, one arm, half of his back, the other half, the other foot, the other arm.

And just like that, he was laying next to Light.

It was simple, and moderately easy.

It was nice.

But not enough.

He still felt tremors plaguing his limbs periodically. He could still feel the cold air next to him, on the inch or two of uncovered skin. He still had that final conversation ringing through his brain, cruel laughter licking at the shell of his ears.

So, he turned on his side.

And held Light.

Spooned Light.

And that was better.

It was a very loose hold, but still, it was better. With one arm wrapped around the other's side and a back against a chest, that was better. He could smell the shampoo that cleansed that sweet golden-red scalp. Coconut-lime, if he placed it right. There was an eighty-seven percent chance that the scent belonged to Herbal Essences' hydrating shampoo and conditioner, and that it was the exact kind that Light used.

Well, if L could be making deductions and creating percentages, he must be feeling better.

He knew the effects would be even greater if he were closer, if he could really have true contact, but he didn't dare risk it. He had mostly stopped shaking and was able to think clearly again, and that would have to do for now. He wasn't about to make a huge awkward affair over this little moment of weakness.

That is, he didn't mean to.

But, fate must really not have liked him because Light opened his eyes.

And they grew to be very, very wide.

L was at so much of a loss as to what to do in this situation, that he just tried to stay perfectly still. As if doing that would make him unnoticeable or something.

"Who… is that?" Honestly, it sounded like he was afraid of being raped in his sleep. It wasn't shaky or nervous, just too breathy for his normal tone, indicating an edge of fear.

"Do not worry Raito-kun, it is just me." Instantly, as soon as he opened his mouth, the pajama clad body relaxed. Thankfully, it seemed that he wasn't afraid that _L_ would be the one raping him. At least he had garnered that much trust.

There was a moment of silence where Light's hazy brain began to assess the situation. L was in his bed, it was very early in the morning, he was being held, and well, L was in his bed. He would never do this, and the fact that the hold was so light and fragile meant that it wasn't one of any particularly strange passion. It seemed… desperate.

"L, what's wrong?" The continued silence from the boy behind him confirmed his suspicions. Something had happened to him. "L, really, what happened?" And finally, _finally_, the body came closer. The embrace became tighter, more contact was made, and Light felt his face grow hot. Smooth breath swept across the back of his neck, making goose bumps fly down his back. A hand was gripping the fabric over his heart, another held on under his right scapula. A scary thought occurred to him just then.

He was right a minute ago.

This wasn't affection or some strange act of annoyance.

This _was_ desperation.

"Please," he brought his hand up to curl around the fist on his chest. "Tell me what's wrong. You're worrying me." Yes, he was just recently lamenting how he was supporting L more than L was supporting him, but right now, with him right here, this close, this needy…

He didn't really care.

He just wanted to make him better.

"I just had a nightmare. I am alright now."

"But, you weren't earlier." Not a question. A statement. He could feel the remnants of tension in those soft arms, could tell from the periodical twitch that not too long ago, he must have been anything but alright.

And once again, the silence told him he was right.

He rolled over.

And all of the air in his body left him.

The way L looked right now was just…..

Tragic and beautiful simultaneously.

Eyes too wide to be innocent anymore, lashes flush against fair skin. Highlights of the sweet light filling the room danced inside of those endless pupils, adding a lush beauty to those haunted orbs. His skin was paler than usual, allowing the sun to effectively paint him the lovely light red of his withdrawn bed curtains in the places their shadows touched. That same shade ran through his dark hair like wild horses, free and unattainable. It brought out the bends and the shapes in him, exposing all of the angles and curves all over the parts of him above the blankets.

The arm was still holding onto him.

Those fingers were still clenched tight.

Those lips were still pink and lightly pressed together.

Most likely to stop any signs of his true state.

Light put a hand against a porcelain cheek, adding a new color and fresh contrast. He looked straight into his counterpart, right into those dark depths, following the steps of the golden waltz that was taking place there.

"You know I'm here for you. Do you want to talk about it?" And with that, the contact was lost. It wasn't a harsh move though, just one of thought, of hesitation, of sorrowful rejection. The eyes flicked back and forth, searching the stark white of Light's nightshirt for the correct course of action.

And then, L shut those searchlight eyes.

He shook his head, but didn't stay still after.

His other arm reached out to sneak under Light's neck, the other relocated higher, entangling it's self into that glowing nest of gentle flames. Light let himself be pulled closer, to be pressed against the steep slope of L's neck.

He smelled like strawberries and coffee.

Light found himself leaning into the embrace more, wrapping his own arms around a too small waist.

"Raito, I can not tell you this just yet. I will though," A soft sigh blew across the sensitive skin under his hair. It made Light close his eyes too. "I need to. Just… Not right now." Fingers pressed into the fabric behind Light's neck as L gave him a tender squeeze. He felt their shins and knee caps connect. He made note of the lack of honorific too. "Just, stay like this with me for a while."

And that's what they did.

Even though they both felt the heat in their cheeks, they knew that this wasn't about that sort of thing. They knew this meant something more. Something deeper than the hormones that were being awoken as they lay there together. They both knew that this was about one needing, and one giving. However, they both still felt that heat.

And L wanted to drop kisses onto the top of Light's head.

And Light wanted to trail kisses down L's chin to his heart.

Neither one did though.

Because this wasn't about that.

This was about something more.

* * *

Awwwwwwwwww!! I finally got to the romance part! Well, sort of. I got to the romantic inclinations, and mostly out of the angst. So, Across the universe, sang by Jude from the movie, the instrumental version of the same song, and Light lights up Light were all I listened to this entire chapter, and I think it made it flowing and sweet. Well, I hope so anyway. The beginning was a little iffy for me because well… I've never really done a dream thing before, and I needed it to just be dialogue because I didn't want to expose too much, but I'm afraid that the incredibly dramatic glimpse into L's past was kind of, well, not dramatic enough. The pure dialogue thing makes it hard to convey a feeling of tension or urgency. But, I hope you all liked this! I really enjoyed writing it, and it's a bit longer too!

Drop me a line to let me know what you think! See you soon! (I think….)


	15. Of Bedrooms and Starfish

Ah, so, they're starting to feel all touchy-feeley in this chapter! I really wanted this to be cute, and I hope I succeeded! Let me know what you think!

**NOTE:** I forget if I said this already, so just to make sure everyone knows, I'm going through this again, re-writing the first couple of chapters (But nothing too drastic! Except for chapter 2... It's that bad…) and I'll be editing my other chapters like I promised I would a million years ago, so the grammar and spelling mistakes should be fixed soon. This may result in a lag in updates, but I'll try my hardest to keep up with this and Maybe Oblivion, so root for me guys!

Disclaimer : Don't own don't sue

* * *

"Raito-kun." A soft whisper was released into his ear, curling around the cup, slipping gently past the drum and into his brain. It coiled up there, making a home within Light's skull, warming his insides with its sweet embrace. Light opened his eyes. They had been lying together for a long time now, not speaking, not doing anything but subtly moving closer together, the hold tightening, becoming more longing, more desperate.

Neither one wanted to move.

They didn't want this moment to end.

But the sun was rising, and soon the other students would be too.

Light didn't want L to leave him, partially because he didn't want him to go somewhere to suffer alone in his mysterious fear. The other reason was that he didn't want that warmth to leave. He'd always felt some sort of pull from his friend, something that lured him closer, but he wouldn't have called it attraction until now. Lying there with him, in his bed, under his blankets, it just felt…

Right.

Like they'd both been waiting for it somehow.

"Raito-kun, are you awake?" Another whisper dropped from L's lips to fall upon the elegant shell of Light's ear. He felt auburn hair move under his cheek as he spoke.

"Yes, I'm awake. What do you need?" There was a slight shift as he moved closer, a tightening of the fist over his heart. Light couldn't bring himself to care about the wrinkles that would be left there. He could feel hesitation radiating off of the boy behind him, reluctant to speak his wants. There was a moment where all he could hear were L's steady breaths in and out, the small buffs of air rolling across his cheeks like the tide coming in.

"Please Raito, take me to the ocean." He curled in on himself more, knees pressing against the back of Light's, head descending to rest on the side of a sun kissed neck. Light wanted to make him more relaxed, he wanted to grant his wish, but, well, they were in a boarding school. However, L wouldn't have asked him to do something unless there was a way to actually do it.

"How would we get there?" He didn't bother asking about whether or not they would get in trouble. If they did, it wouldn't matter much since Light was a star student who never really got punished for anything he's ever done, and he was sure he could get L off of the hook too if needed.

"I know that you are able to drive, and I have access to a car. I cannot tell you how right now but transportation and permission to leave school grounds are not problems for me."

Light just nodded his head. L had so many different pieces that needed to be put together, so many aspects of his personality and life that Light didn't really know what to do with them anymore but wait for L to fit them together for him.

"Alright, I'll take you." They spoke in whispers, keeping their secret escape to themselves, an intimate scheme not meant to fall on foreign ears. He wound his hand around the one on his chest, giving it a reassuring squeeze. It was like L needed someone to help him stay in one piece. His heart against Light's back felt like a humming bird trying to break out of the ivory cage that was his chest: light, childish, flittering, and fragile.

They stayed like that for a few more precious moments, afraid that the magic, that feeling of security and warmth, would shatter and fall before their feet if they got out of that bed.

With a rueful sigh, Light eased out of his covers, trailing his hand after him, fingers brushing down the side of L's porcelain ones still resting in his now empty spot on the bed. He slipped behind the curtain hanging from his bedposts, quickly changing while his companion rose from the downy depths of the comforter.

For a moment, the feeling evaporated, the sunlight suddenly paler, colder.

Both boys felt the shiver of fear run down their spines.

But then Light came back around, showing a tender smile.

A smile that L knew was being reserved for him, one that only his eyes would ever see.

And the moment came back, full swing, the room returning to its warm toned, coddling state.

They left just as the first sleepy sighs of awareness were being sounded.

L led the way, through the common room, down the corridors, past the early bird teachers getting coffee, and down a stairwell on the first floor. A locked door stood before them, but it was easily bypassed by a card L produced. With a small, sneaky smile to Light, he swiped it through a slot, causing a small beep to rise from the depths of the mechanism , and a click noise from the exit.

They were in the teacher's sub-level parking garage. It was all cement and bright orange lights. L continued to forge a path to the very back of the area, ending at a long row of cars lining the entire length of the back wall. He turned to Light, that same grin still in place. It was confident, and just a little cocky.

"Pick one." Surprise spread across his face like the sunrise was sweeping across the school grounds. Really though, he should have expected something like this. Obviously, the young man before him had good connections with the school, and probably had access to many a wondrous thing.

He walked down the aisle, taking in each expensive vehicle, observing how, despite the dim lighting, they all shone light scarab beetles on Halloween. He stopped before a sleek black convertible beast. He didn't care what brand it was, or what the gas mileage was, he just knew that he needed something that would let the wind rip through his hair, something free and fast.

He turned to see L holding out the keys to him.

They shared another moment then, both grinning, both feeling the new closeness of their hearts.

Light was aware of the small brush of their fingers as he took the offered tinkling package.

They each got in, one graceful and elegant, the other lackluster and robotic. The engine turned over under the command of Light's fingers, quietly announcing the beginning of their journey. It was quite a ride, the shore not being terribly close or terribly far. They were silent, with no music or conversation, just the wind howling in their ears, caressing their frames with October fingers.

As Light navigated the duo toward their destination, he couldn't help but let his thoughts stray. As they passed through grassy hill sides and under the canopy of trees, he couldn't stop agonizing over L's reaction. He hadn't been off of school grounds for fourteen years, and this would be his first time ever seeing his beloved ocean. The glass that hung over his windows were brought to mind, and somehow, the image became sad, warped; it became a testament to his seclusion.

They parked close to the beach, behind a dune. Light chose the spot with purpose; he didn't want to spoil the beauty of the scene, or the impact of the vast expanse of blue. He wanted L to crest the hill, to be overtaken by the waves, becoming lost in the sight of never ending peace.

But L was quiet.

They went right over the hill, without even a pause on his part.

He didn't say a word, didn't waver from his path or in his pace. He headed straight for a jetty. The moss covered rocks beckoned him over with the allure of the sound of tide pools and the sight of tiny starfish.

He passed over these little attractions without a single glance though, walking like he was on a war path. He mounted the eroded stone and kept moving, eyes blank and set. Light was disappointed to say the least, but he curiously followed the steps of the inexperienced traveler, slightly worried about L's bare feet on the sharp, porous rocks. He was also beginning to wonder where exactly he was going. There wasn't that much left of the jetty, it only went out about a hundred yards, and the hunched over boy was probably about three fourths of the way across already.

Just as he thought L would seriously fall into the froth below, he stopped, perching himself on the very last rock. As Light made his way over to him, he watched as the waves withdrew and came crashing back, just barely avoiding splashing bare feet. Light sat next to him with all the poise of a Japanese man sitting down to a tea ceremony.

L didn't meet the gaze that was sent at him, he just stared out into the horizon, showing nothing.

His feet were bleeding.

Light was too nervous to say anything. Even though this trip wasn't meant to be a surprise or anything, it was still something that he felt was supposed to be a momentous occasion, something to be filled with happiness and ease. But just as he was beginning to depress himself with thoughts of disappointment, L turned his head to connect their lines of sight.

And god, the way L looked.

He was so _soft._

So open.

So _real_.

All of the emptiness in his eyes was replaced with almost every emotion conceivable, lacking only anger and dissatisfaction.

"Raito, thank you." He looked away again, letting the waves occupy his thoughts. Slowly, shyly, gingerly, his hand drifted down from his knees to find Light's again.

"This is all I could want." He gave Light's hand a firm, contented squeeze, and the other boy couldn't hold back his smile.

He didn't want to, anyway.

Their eyes didn't turn away from the ocean after that. They let the seagulls talk for them. They didn't need things like words to occupy their time.

They only needed their laced fingers to enjoy each other.

* * *

Well, I'm pretty happy with this. I hope it was all cute enough, and that the beach scene was easily visualized. As a note, uh, I don't live in Japan, and therefore I have next to no idea if they have starfish regularly hanging out in tide pools, so if that's wrong, just pretend its right. XD Its poetic, man, ok? Author's liberties! I say starfish appear in Japanese tide pools! Well, it happened in Main when I went there, so at least it's not inconceivable. Also, I haven't done this in a while, but I finished the rough draft of this at officially 9:12 am. Yeah, I'm still awake. XD

Please drop me a review and let me know what you thought!


	16. Bridal Bandages

So, update time! Just to let everyone know, I got a job now, and I'll be starting college soon, so even though I just stated in the last chapter that I would try to get better with the updates, they might lag for a bit while I adjust to my new schedule, but I assure you, I will try VERY hard to try my best to keep up with a weekly update! Just… don't kill me if I don't XD

P.S. I LOVE YOU ALL, just to let you know. Over 200 reviews! I can't thank you enough for all the support! I hope you stay with me to the end!

Disclaimer: Don't own, don't sue.

* * *

"I believe I did not pay adequate attention to my feet while walking up here." Light looked down, past their overlapped fingers to where a small trickle of blood was creeping away from L's toes, toward the ocean.

"I can take care of that for you, if you'd like." A slight nod was his answer as he stood. The still seated boy looked a bit hesitant before gingerly applying pressure to his abused heels. He rose, but slowly. He didn't flinch, but the strained look in his eyes voiced his pain for him. Light wondered how he had been sitting on them in his usual pose without keeling over from the proabably agonising sensation.

"Raito-kun, I…" He took a moment to look away in mild embarrassment, gathering his pride together and shoving it off into a corner. "I do not think I can navigate these rocks a second time." Light smiled with understanding, knowing that there would be no end to the mortification L must have felt in admitting a weakness. He gently eased the hundred and ten pound boy into his arms, lifting him off of his bloodied feet.

"Really Raito-kun, bridal style?" Light chuckled at him as he carefully maneuvered through the maze of moss covered outcrops.

"If I carried you on my back, your feet would catch on my shirt, making me a mess and hurting you." Light felt his foot slip a bit, and L grabbed his neck in a moment of worry. He wouldn't call it fear. Once they were sure the near crisis had passed and they were back on dependable ground, L bumped his head against the other's chest.

"This is so utterly and horrifically degrading." Light let out a gentle laugh as he stepped back onto sand.

"But if it weren't for you cutting up your feet-" he cut himself off there. He wanted to continue so badly, to tell L how good it felt to carry him, but that was still ground yet to be tread upon. They let the sentence hang there, both knowing how it should have ended, but neither wanting to finish it. Whatever they had going for them, they wanted it to keep _on_ going. Any actual mention of it might rip it apart, murder it's chances of becoming something real.

"There should be a first aid kit in the trunk Raito-kun can use until we return to school." As they reached the car, they went through the rather humorous progress of L trying to unlock and open the passenger door from Light's arms, afterwards being tenderly placed in his seat, legs awkwardly extended before him for treatment. Light went to and came from the back of the car, returning with the red and white box of medical supplies. L spoke as his feet were being cleaned.

"My grandfather is Watari." The kneeling boy looked up in curiosity, but didn't halt in his actions. "Watari is how I address Quillish Wammy so no one realized the founder of Wammy's Academy for the Gifted is my grandfather and butler." Now Light did stop, gazing up into dark pools.

"You're kidding me."

"Not at all. He is also the only reason I am able to ignore almost all of the rules of the school, and why I am still allowed to be there in general." He brought his forefinger to his lips, nibbling on the nail as he observed Light's still hands.

"Why would you not be allowed to be there?" L's eyes narrowed slightly. He knew Light would ask, he had put the prompt there for him, but he still didn't want to answer. It might change something between them for some reason.

"I should not still be attending a high school because not only am I far above high school level classes, but I am also twenty years old." At this point, Light out right stared in disbelief, mouth agape and all.

"Did… Do you not have anywhere else to go?" With a sardonic smile, L looked away, back toward the sand dune that hid the ocean from his sight.

"There is simply no where else I would rather be." Work resumed on his feet, and he pondered over what else he should reveal at this point. He owed Light for doing all of this for him, and with their new, unofficial level of intimacy, he was growing frighteningly comfortable with the idea of just letting it all out.

He knew Light wouldn't be able to take it though.

He would continue to tell his story little by little.

Not only to not unbalance the other boy, but also so he didn't wind up regretting the action.

He was still unused to being close to anyone, in mind or body, and all of this might give him a system shock if he progressed too quickly with it. Light still had more to his story too, and he didn't want to give up all of his past if the other was still withholding.

"I can't believe you've been through so much already and you're only three years older than I am." Silence followed the statement. There didn't really need to be a response, and as Light finished wrapping his foot in gauze, the sun lowered into the three o'clock position.

"We should start heading back Raito-kun. Watari will begin to worry soon since I did not make him aware of our outing." He smiled as he placed his hand on the top of a golden read head. "He will be quite happy when he does find out though." A smile was shared once more before Light got up to climb into the driver's seat.

"I'm happy about it too."

Light reached over and gave the hand a squeeze.

Not once on the ride back, did he let go.

* * *

Meh, this was a bit of a filler chapter, just to get them back from the beach and get a littl emore stuff out of L's character. However, there was cuteness, a little bit of humor for me, and now I can get with the cute and angst again! I thought 20 was a good agefor l by the way, because it wouldn't be creepily old, and with him not leaving the school for 14 years, that puts his pre-traumatized self at the age of 6, which means he'll be able to accurately recall the things that did, inevitably, wind up traumatizing him! So, I have L's timeline all figured, out, I just have to organize Light in my head now XD I'll put more stuff about him in soon. His isn't quite as elaborate as L's past is, so I gotta stretch his out more XD

Anyway, please drop a review, they make me very, very happy!


	17. Engine Blocks and Impacts

HA! I HAVE A DAY OFF FINALLY! God, really guys, I can't apologize enough to you. After promising updates, I was a huge douche and fell off the face of the earth. Hopefully, I'll get back on track now that I've fallen into a routine. Geh, school full time and working 32 hours a week is hard, and not conducive to creativity, and I've been stuck in a writer's block. I couldn't figure out how to fill in the gap between the beach, and well, L's entire history XD But, I have now made a stepping stone, so hopefully all will be well once more. As for maybe oblivion, I'm still lacking my crazy vibe, but hopefully that'll kick in sometime soon too.

Disclaimer: Don't own, don't sue.

* * *

Coincidentally, holding hands while driving is quite dangerous.

Several times, Light had to yank L's hand around to properly coordinate a left hand turn, and each one was spent halfway in each lane. His control of his speed suffered too, due to the lack of focus, and he caught himself doing seventy in a forty at one point. He was really lucky that that particular road was one less traveled, and therefore less patrolled.

Luck couldn't hold out forever though.

And so, they took one particular turn a bit too hard.

They drifted over to the left lane, just ever so slightly on a right curve in the road.

In one defining screech, a black car scraped against a red one, the friction eradicating paint at the points of impact, the rebounding force redirecting their vehicle over to the side of the road, instead of it's rightful position on the asphalt.

They hit a tree at fifty miles an hour.

Light came back from his blackout to the sight of his lap below his hung head. His knuckles were bloody from his hitting his windshield, but other than that, he could feel that he weathered very few injuries. The scent of a burnt out engine filled the car, stinging his nostrils with a foul, synthetic, smoky aroma. The kind you only experience normally at race tracks. He raised his head to see that by some force of nature, he hadn't hit the tree head on, but actually on an angle that was severe enough to stop the car, but not crush it. The side it hi-

"FUCK!"

He flew over to his right, torso pulling at the seat belt, ignoring the burn of friction cuts.

He stopped dead.

His hands were in mid-reach, on their way to bony shoulders, his eyes stopped in their search of fatal injuries.

L had his head pressed against the top of the seat, his body stretched out, presumably the from the force of the impact. His limbs were unwound, arms laying limply by his thighs, legs unceremoniously stuck under the dashboard. His face was almost pointed in Light's direction, but angled at the ceiling.

His eyes were wide.

His smile was wider.

"L?" He inhaled sharply, deeply at the sound, ribs stretching in an instant to their fullest, only to release slowly.

"L!" The same reaction, but now his mouth was moving. The words that came out were a jumble of pronouns and names and words that weren't even comprehensible.

"L WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! SNAP OUT OF IT!" Bloodied hands took hold of relaxed shoulders, his face coming close to the other's.

"B, what're you doing? Snap out of it." Light retreated at that, those small, mumbled, contracted and first person sentences. His hands retreated, and L swiveled his too wide pupils over to the knuckels.

His teeth started to show.

"Is that hers B?" He started shaking now, eyes becoming unfocused, breaking erratic, hands clenching into fists. "Is that her blood B? Is that…"

Light couldn't take anymore.

In a swift movement, he unbuckled his belt and L's so he could properly sweep him into an embrace, feeling the crawling skin beneath his own. His buried that foreign face into his chest.

"B….. is that...mom's..." He squeezed harder, trying to keep that mouth silent, to keep stories he shouldn't be hearing yet untold.

With a second coming of that smell, Light remembered that they had just crashed into something, and there was a real chance of the car being a dangerous place to be. He therefore proceeded to haphazardly drag them both out of the car, avoiding shards of glass and distracting L enough with the process to make his words slide back into an undistinguishable stream of syllables.

He took them both roughly twenty feet away, L barely walking, Light supporting most of his weight.

His mouth was still going.

"What…Ne...ear…Why?" Seeing L in a sort of comatose like this was definitely stressful, especially when they just had a near death experience. He looked over to the car, taking in the crushed back passanger door, than back to L, taking in his own warped features. At least he wasn't smiling anymore.

But the hollow look in his eyes, the fearful frown were almost as bad.

It embodied his first assessment of him.

It was haunted.

He laid his babbling friend down, taking in a quick survey of injuries. He had seatbelt shaped blood spots coming through his shirt from the same friction cuts Light suffered from, and his jeans had dark splotches of red on then over his shins. They probably hit the dash and the impact split skin, even through jeans. His wrist had an already purpling bruise on it, probably also attained from the dash. He wondered if it was broken.

"Ok, we need help... help, help, help…." He was up and pacing, trying to figure out a form of communication, and trying to ignore his slight limp. His legs ached, and his ankles felt a little like they had been stretched a bit too far, perhaps from hitting the top of the alcove under his steering wheel.

He was missing a shoe.

His phone was back at school, dead, and forgotten under the clothes in his drawers.

L though…

L always had a phone on him, it's shape pronounced against the smooth shape of his hip.

He rushed back over to the now mildly convulsing boy, managing to dig in his pockets to effectively draw out a slim silver phone. He felt bad ignoring the obviously worsening of the other's condition, but the faster they had help on the way, the faster he could help him. He flipped open the phone, quickly locating the contacts.

There was only one.

Watari.

He dialed.

* * *

So, uh, I liked this XD I felt very passionate about this chapter, because I myself was in a car accident when I was in middle school, however we did hit head on a fifty, and the glove compartment collapsed on my leg, breaking my femur. I didn't want any serious injuries to be sustained, so that's why the angle thing happened. Also, I lost my shoe in my accident, I thought it's be cool to mention. That seatbelt thing really does happen by the way, but it doesn't hurt that much after like a day. Again, thought it'd be neat to mention. But I actually think I got sympathy pains from writing this because both my legs hurt quite a bit right now, hence why I stopped there. Lame, yes, but well, I can't be all cool when I'm writing through annoying pain, so I'll try to update soon, and I mean it this time!

Please drop a review, if for nothing else than to yell at me XD


End file.
